This Infatuation
by Mandala Morgaine
Summary: The first time she saw him, he was walking through the rain with a glazed look in his eyes like an ocean too confused to pick a color, but Bella found herself drawn to Jasper anyway. When the outcast brings her into his world, tempers flare and love is tested as she learns that nothing is what it seemed. Companion piece to "My Intoxication"
1. Chapter 1

1.

The first time she ever saw him it was raining. From afar he looked disheveled and slightly homeless, his faded red pack thrown over one shoulder with the abandon of someone who just wasn't all there in the head. As she and her father drew closer the figure raised a hitchhiker's thumb into the air, but from the hunched shoulders and downcast gaze she guessed that he really did not expect much out of the motion.

Bella was apprehensive. Though she felt (and felt _bad_) for this person, trudging hopelessly through the god-forsaken rain storm, all her instincts screamed. _Of course,_ the more curious side of her brain reasoned, _this was a police cruiser and there was a gun on Charlie's belt._ There was no more reason to be frightened by this ominous character than there was to be infatuated.

Charlie sighed quietly and flipped on the cruiser's lights as he stopped the car. She glanced at him with a panicked expression when he rolled down her window and spoke out into the rain,

"Jasper Hale, get in the car." Surprisingly, it was not the tone of a police officer but that of a paternal guardian.

Bella hardly had time to consider this before the door behind her opened and "Jasper Hale" slid into the car. She turned – a covert gesture on her part that aimed for secrecy – to catch a glance of the stranger. He was obviously tall, but other than that she could not see much because he had slouched back into the shadows. Frustrated, she turned back, focused on her hands, and tried to ignore the flush that came to her cheeks whenever she was being watched intently.

The ride was fairly quiet, with only a few awkwardly placed questions on Charlie's part. Curiosity, however, tickled the back of Bella's throat; eventually she slid a glance to the review mirror. For a moment she was able to peer uninterrupted at his pallid skin and half-closed eyes; though the shadow on his jaw was heavy, Bella half suspected that he was not always so haggard. There were times…

She had not noticed that she was still staring until his eyes met hers through the glass. His eyes were a hazy shade, like an ocean too confused to keep a color. They were not hazel, but they were a distorted shade of blue. Interesting, but Bella pulled herself away from the mirror and looked at the scenery; she felt mortified to be caught looking so closely.

The cruiser pulled around the bend and up a gravel drive. There was a convenient circle at the end of the driveway that reminded Bella of Cinderella's arrival at the grand ball. The house was almost large enough to fit the palace (at least to what _she_ was used to), and the stark whiteness of it made it stand out from the multitude of dark trees lapping around it like waves. The beauty was so severe and startling that she could not hold in a gasp.

When eventually their car came to a stop and Charlie got out to open the door for his pseudo-prisoner, Bella surprised herself by turning to watch him exit. As if on cue, he turned back and met her face fully. He was frightfully pale, though the effects were made more apparent by the wet strands of honey-colored hair that clung to the prominent features of his face. There was grit under his jaw that Bella passed over for the obvious scar lower on his neck; _that _was not a shaving nick. While his eyes studied her face, her own eye roamed observantly over _his_ body and she saw that he was thin – even for his height – but wiry.

Then, after this one instant, he ducked gracelessly and exited the car. Charlie slid back behind the wheel and sighed before pulling the car into gear. Bella noticed absently, her eyes still on Jasper Hale as he stumbled up the stairs awkwardly. She was glad that she did not crane her neck once they were past the range of peripheral vision; that would have been too obvious for her taste.

This was her first day back in Forks and her first time spent with Charlie in years. It was filled with uncomfortable silence and, Bella thought, there was no better way to break a silence than offhand conversation. Wringing her hands slightly, she spoke.

"You know that guy?" She hoped the words came out casually. To her relief, Charlie nodded.

"Yep," he said without taking his grim eyes off the road, "and he's always in some sort of trouble. He's a good kid, hun, but –" Charlie seemed to catch himself in time edit what he had been about to say "he cannot stay away from that trouble."

"Ohh," Bella said, as if understanding the great meaning her father was placing on the repetition of "trouble," and said no more. His tone had dead-ended that conversation quickly.

The stranger – _Jasper_, she reminded herself firmly – had not seemed overtly dangerous or bad. He had an edge to him that Bella was sure she had figured out already; though she was of the minority that had never experimented, she knew the glazed look of a pothead when she saw one. It made him almost appealing in a Bohemian sense, though she chided herself firmly for wanting to think about a virtual stranger in such a romanticized manner.

Bella Swan, never one for sweeping romance or nervous giggles, swept the brief tug against her heart to the back of her mind. She was here for school, for Charlie, and her future. When she arrived at her own modest house with only a single, monstrous tree to guard her bedroom window, her eyes became focused and clear. She would need to unpack, survey the space, take stock of the kitchen… the list ran on.

On that evening, she was too busy to dream of Jasper Hale.


	2. Chapter 2

Infat 2.

The next morning she drove to school in her new-old truck. It had a faded orange hue that had, in some places, managed to remain the original fiery color that she would have found adorable. Bella loved the car and was sure she would in any condition; it was just her style. For years she had known that her clumsiness was dangerous, and she could appreciate the quiet gesture of love and understanding that Charlie had given by getting her the most indestructible machine ever to grace the roads of Clallam County.

Laughter went up in the surrounding crowd as she parked and climbed from the perilous heights of her new vehicle. She assumed this was because of her small size – it was comical even to her that the truck was four times her size – but the laughter still stung. _Who were they?_ These people did not even know her!

Admittedly, a good part of her ill humor was a frustratingly unfounded wish that she would see Jasper Hale again. He had looked just a few years too old to belong, but an odd pang in her chest wished that rationality could be suspended. Or, at the very least, disproven. She would shake off the feeling once forced to officially begin the day's many introductions but for now…

Bella sighed mightily and shoved the office door open.

She was unaware of any real external presence in the room until he spoke. The handful of papers handed to her, which depicted buildings and classes in a primitive sketch, made no sense. She was focusing on the many sketched buildings and the walkways that joined them – some joining the first floors and others open to anyone via stairways – and trying not to feel too much like an armadillo caught in the road. A car was bearing down on her anyway, and it was called "Life."

"Is he in a meeting with someone important or just his breakfast?"

Bella's heart thumped wildly in its bone prison. She had wanted someone whom she knew, and here he was! A blush began to creep through her cheeks as she followed the receptionist's gaze to him. The young man standing there could not have been the same as the one she had "met" previously; there were glaring differences that might have only been considered subtle by others. Bella, however, had a discerning eye. She could tell.

The build was the same, he was still paler than anyone she had ever known, his hair was still straggly and unkempt… but the quiet serenity she had sensed (_or had she?_) was gone – replaced by a frantic fever that radiated from the eyes. It positively _hummed_ through his body. For some reason she thought of the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland: pale and vibrating with nervous energy.

He noticed the two women, judging the older quickly before lingering on Bella's face with surprise. A hand went to his forehead. Bella thought he must be willing away a headache because that is how she always tried to force them back. Rarely had it worked.

She turned quickly as he threw up his hands in vexation. The man was disquieting in his fever and she wanted away from the strangeness that possessed him. When he spoke again it was in a nonchalant and slightly confused voice.

"Do you need directions to your first class or something?"

A blush flooded to Bella's face and she found herself nodding. It was mortifying to be the new kid at school and doubly so because she could not decipher the poorly written maps. Today there would be stares but no help proffered – except by this one person in the early morning while he was obviously in a hurry and feeling ill. It was flattering.

He extended a hand in greeting which she took eagerly. They exchanged names and she almost laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face when he heard hers. It almost looked like his Christmas presents had been stolen from under the tree while he went to go get cookies for Santa; it was priceless.

"I thought everyone would know that," she said with a laugh that was only half nervous now. _Huh._

"I suppose I'm not everyone then." He shrugged and opened the door for her.

Bella ventured out into the rain and walked toward the main building before pausing, unsure. Jasper invited himself to look over her shoulder at her schedule; his rascally hair dripped water onto the already incomprehensible pages. Without warning he let out a laugh that drew attention from the other students.

"Latin?" He said in disbelief.

"Don't make fun of me," Bella retorted, her voice more anxious than angry as people continued to stare. She got the sense that it was because of Jasper - that he must not go out of his way to talk to many people. A blush threatened to spread across her skin as he pulled her along after him.

Jasper stopped short and turned to her. He spoke fiercely and without pause. _Comfortably_, she would later think, but for now his foreign words made little sense to her. Bella checked her papers with a sinking feeling that was always equated with confusion (both mental and directional) and panic set in. It was not until the door opened and the teacher greeted her that she realized she was at her first class. By that time, her white rabbit had already disappeared down the hallway.

* * *

**So, companion piece is officially up. For those of you who don't know, this is to fill in some blanks for "My Intoxication," which follows only Jasper's POV. Things happen while he's out of the picture, though, so here this story is. It may seem redundant (because it is in places) but we needed to know things that would not otherwise be known. Review and tell me what you think, fans and future-fans alike!**


	3. Chapter 3

Infat 3.

The classroom was abysmally silent. Bella took her directed seat at the rear of the room and removed her notebook from its messenger bag. In front of her, a petite girl and her bronze haired boyfriend were engaged in a quiet discussion; to her right a blond boy was fixing his gelled hair. The boy in front of her turned and gave her a half-wave before returning to his conversation. He was attractive – obviously taken, but attractive – and since this was the first greeting she had received from a classmate, she was relieved. No one else had bothered to do more than stare.

Time would not decide whether it should stop or speed. At times the staring was unbearable and the whispers deafening, but these classes passed like an echo through infinity. During one of these classes a girl had finally broken the code of silence and asked her in a rather chipper if not obnoxious voice if she was Isabella Swan. When Bella nodded, corrected the name, and said 'hello,' Jessica (as her name was) catapulted into a one-sided conversation about the details of gossip at Forks High.

Unfortunately, classes like fourth block English class where she met Edward Cullen slipped through her fingers before she could grasp them. He sat to her left across the aisle as opposed to the last time she had seen him, Latin class. At first he was quiet, reading the assigned text, "The Lottery," but eventually he did glance up and when he did she was taken aback. His eyes were like emeralds.

"Have you read this before?" he said, holding up the thin book and tapping on the title page. His nose was crinkled in an adorable display of distaste.

Bella nodded eagerly. "I read it last semester. I found it ironic but disturbing. Haven't bothered to reread it."

"The ending." He guessed without questioning; it was a statement.

She heaved a sigh as she nodded. "Among other things." _Mainly the idea of human sacrifice._

He shook his head with a wry grin and extended a hand. "Edward Cullen."

She accepted his invitation to friendship. "Bella Swan, but I assume you already knew that."

"Everyone does, but I thought I'd even the playing field."

Bella, thinking about how not _everybody_ had known her identity, thanked him for his honesty. He simply shrugged modestly as if to say _That's just how I roll_ and ruffled his reddish-brown hair. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the teacher announcing a pop quiz on the underlying meaning of the story. The quiz commanded much of Bella's attention; by the time she looked up again, the bell was ringing and Edward was gone.

Bella forced herself to face the harrowing lunch ahead of her and headed to her locker long enough to switch books. Jessica was waiting for her, her cheerful smile a little to full of crocodile's teeth for Bella's taste. She forced herself to be pleasant and followed her new friend through the lunch line and to the crowded table. Here she met the rest of the group. Some she had taken classes with before – most, actually – but there was hardly time to wonder at this before the new round of introductions began.

There was Mike, who greeted her too enthusiastically for either her or Jessica's comfort; Jessica flipped her hair and moved on quickly with what was supposed to be a subtle maneuver. Bella raised her eyebrow at the quiet girl across from her who shook her head with a laugh. Her name was Angela and Bella suspected their friendship would quickly become stronger than the shallow one Jessica offered. Eric was quick to greet her as he dumped his books on the table and headed with Angela to the lunch line.

Edward caught her eye as he walked past the table; Bella followed him with her eyes and he gave her an "_I feel so sorry for you" _smirk as he headed toward his own, empty table. When she glanced back to Jessica, she saw that the blonde girl had paused mid-story and was eying her. Bella could not decipher the emotion behind the gaze.

"_What_?" she asked eventually when Jessica did not speak.

Jessica gave a glance back at the table where Edward picked at his food. Bella supposed he must be waiting for his girlfriend, the small girl she had seen him with earlier. "_Edward Cullen_ is 'what'!" Jessica said. "Don't waste your time trying, Bella. Trust me, he'll shut you down."

"I wasn't going to try," Bella said quickly. She took a quick sip from her water bottle and listened absently as Jessica continued.

"They pretty much keep to themselves, anyway," she was saying conspiratorially. "And, speaking of which…" she tilted her head toward the lunch line.

Jasper and a petite girl – the same as she had seen with Edward, actually – emerged from the lunch line together and moved smoothly toward the table. Edward looked up, frowned slightly, and bit apathetically into a French fry. Bella did not blame him; the fries were soggy at best.

"The small one is Alice," Jessica whispered, "and the paler one – who looks like he's in pain – is Jasper. No one is sure, but I think they're together. I can't think of why; she's a freak and he is completely mental - seriously."

"Introducing Bella to the Cullens?" Angela guessed as she sat down. It was as if this conversation was a normal one to have. "Listen, Bella, those guys are just close-knit because they are all relatively new here. They just… I don't know… interact feel comfortable with outsiders." Jessica nodded and continued,

"The three of them are like a coven. It was even worse when they moved down from Alaska a couple years ago because there were five and, even then, they weren't very nice. _Especially_ Rosalie."

"Who?" A small pang of unknown origin echoed through Bella's heart at the new name.

Jessica sighed in exasperation but clearly enjoyed telling the story. "Jasper's twin _sister_, of course! The two of them stuck together all the time and, if she wasn't such a bitch, it would almost be _pathetic_ the way the two of them looked so out of place here."

"I don't get it," said Bella, letting out a suspended breath. How out of place could a family really be?

"They may be gorgeous, Bella, but they are also rich. And wealth has turned them."

Silently, Bella wondered when Jessica had been turned down by either of the men. She glanced over at the three of them and saw Jasper shake his head violently at Edward; it looked as if his headache had not let up yet. Their clothes were all designer, but she could see that they were not showing off the fact at all.

"Edward was really nice when we talked earlier," she mused. Edward was nice for sure, but she did not want to put herself out there yet by speaking for his – for Jasper. "We talked about The Lottery, mostly, but he seemed really nice."

Jessica clamped her mouth shut and was silent. Mike took the opportunity to take a peek at her schedule and offer to walk her to class. It was a sweet gesture that meant little on his almost-leering face; his eyes were too bright and hopeful for any kind of friendship that was safe from boundary breaking. Bella groaned inwardly and stood with him as the bell rang, making sure to grab her own books before he reached for them. If his behavior today was any suggestion, the next year and a half was going to be a lesson in patience and cool nerves.

They got into Biology as the bell rang. Mike shot her an apologetic glance and turned for his seat, which was a few stations away. Bella herself looked around before judging that there was only one empty seat left by the boy with his head resting in his arms. She picked up her book from Mr. Banner and took her seat.

Her lab partner straightened stiffly as the bell rang and turned with half-surprised eyes to Bella. _Jasper_, she sighed inwardly before breaking into a relieved smile. Relieved because she had not wanted to meet another person or relieved because she got to see his face again? She could not tell and did not really want to.

"It's funny that we have a class together," she said. Inside she wanted to melt into a puddle of embarrassment because _everyone_ shared at least one class around here, but it was the enthusiasm behind her words that counted. He was a nice guy; he would smile back.

Except he didn't. His face turned a queer shade of gray and his face tightened in a grimace. Bella's eyes widened at this ugly transformation and his even uglier words, which were spat out almost with contempt. For a moment she stared at him, almost willing the limb she had gone out on to come back for her, and then she realized just what Jessica had meant at lunch earlier. She felt sick.

Bella thought class could not end fast enough. She took out her schedule and measured the creeping time as it passed, unable to concentrate on the lecture with the sound of _his_ foot tapping beside her. He was anxious to get out of the room – out of her presence – but she was wishing for an escape also.

_Four minutes 'til the bell._ She slid her stool back and winced as it screeched loudly against the tile and Jasper started. His eyes were a black mask of hatred when she looked; the tendons in his neck were strained, his face was snarling, and the knuckles of his clenched fists were white. Bella flinched backward and at this visible signal he brushed his books into his arms and ran.

_No,_ something in Bella's ripping heart – something that sounded like the dove of Hope being shot down by Life – said, _He didn't run. He fled._

Unsure whether she was feeling anger of despair, Bella tried to hold back her tears as the bell rang.


	4. Chapter 4

Infat. 4

How she made it through her last class, Bella did not know. The pain and confusion was eating her on the inside. She fumbled more volleyballs than normal, a feat that worried her. When the final bell rang she swept up her belongings and jogged to her car as quickly as she safely could. For a moment when she heard the small snatch of argument she smiled internally, thinking that _thank God_ someone was having a day as bad as hers, but then she saw that it was the Cullen siblings and her wishful happiness disappeared.

She was happy to be in her room before Charlie came home. He would have asked about her day, and she did not think that she was capable of answering the questions yet. She was not, in fact, capable of much more than crying. The stinging tears were hot, an unavoidable fact, but she stifled them in her pillow and eventually they dried.

Bella made dinner from the scant ingredients Charlie stocked and made a mental note to go shopping. She was at the stove when he came through the door, suspicious of the smell wafting about the house. It made her laugh and she threw her arms around him in a hug as she told him it was _real_ food they were having for dinner. She was glad that he was bad at asking typical fatherly questions because they were so similar that what others perceived as a tenuous relationship was actually the deepest of bonds they could share. Talking was almost unnecessary.

After dinner, Bella shooed her father out of the kitchen and washed the dishes. The repetitive motions and sloshing of warm soapy water were soothing; as usual, it gave her time to process her thoughts. Usually her thoughts revolved around the latest English assignment, a character in a book she was reading, or what her mother had done with the light bulbs. Tonight, however, she thought about Jasper.

He was handsome in his own way. She could give him that. He was mysterious and a bit quirky. That she could allow him as well. He had a faultless sense of sarcasm, too. But she understood why Jessica had snubbed him so harshly, and it hurt to know. When it came right down to it, he was rude, rash, and bad-tempered. He had a way of enchanting you and then ripping away the fairy tale before it really started.

Bella sighed and wiped off the counters. In the other room, Charlie had sat down in front of the television; he had protested this at first but, after they walked into each other twice, had retreated to safety. She glanced over once before finishing the chore and joining him. They watched an episode of _Law and Order_ together, though both exchanged their doubts as to how realistic the scenarios really were, and then Bella went to bed. She was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to do any more thinking.

When she woke in the morning, Bella knew that she was going to confront Jasper Hale. She planned the verbal assault throughout her morning shower and breakfast until she was smiling. She would not stand for his behavior, even if he thought he was allowed make her feel like a rejected crush. What gave _him_ the right to toy with her?

Very much aware that she did feel like a rejected crush, Bella pulled into the parking lot and looked for the familiar shag of dark blond. Anger eventually gave way to anxiety when she could not see him. Anxiety quickly became worry when she spotted Jasper's siblings walking toward the building; Edward had his arm wrapped protectively around his sister. Even from the distance, Bella could see her wiping her eyes against the inner fabric of her green cardigan as she looked up at Edward.

Bella could not bring herself to intrude upon them, but her stomach had clenched into a ball and she felt sick with worry. Instead, she went to her locker and headed off to her Latin class. She hoped that they were not already in the room. Without anger, she could now see how Jasper's absence was _her_ fault and did not want to face the blame.

But, thankfully, the two did not get to class until just before the bell rang. They did not look at her before taking their seats, and Bella breathed a sigh of relief that she had escaped their notice for now.

Halfway through the class, the Principal knocked on the door and excused the Cullens from class. Bella's heart lurched as they stood. Alice's face, however chipper it might usually be, was crumpling. She noticed, too, that even Edward looked worried as he left class. Horrified, Bella decided to ask him on the matter as soon as he returned.

The Cullens did not return to classes that day.

The next day the silver Volvo was not at its usual parking spot in the morning. Bella hoped vainly that they had simply driven another car. When she realized that they had not, the sickness ate at her stomach; she did not eat during lunch that day.

On Thursday, there was no sign of any of the siblings. Bella sat through an entire day's worth of gossip – most of which she found not simply unfounded but also incredibly rude – before escaping to her truck. She cried again, not because she was so angry at _him_ but because none of her other peers had even come close to having similar interests as her. Not that she knew any of his interests – it merely seemed that, if he gave her the chance to be friends, they could have that in common. As she cried, Bella was ashamed to admit that she had already begun counting the days until she could move home.

She walked into English class on Friday and nearly started when she realized that the chair next to her was no longer empty. Edward Cullen was bent over his desk, reading an excerpt from _Self Reliance_ that they had gone over the day before. The hand that supported his head was cut and scraped. His eyes were little better; they looked shadowed and sleepless. He looked up as Bella took her seat and, wringing her hands, glanced over. Their gazes met.

Bella opened her mouth and shut it several times before she was actually able to speak. "Is – is your brother okay?" she said tentatively.

He raised his eyebrows at this and swept the room for eavesdroppers before answering tersely. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

Bella reached out as he turned away, more startled than him that she had done so. "_And you?_"

She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks as his eyes bored silently into her. When he finally spoke (much to her relief), his voice had taken on a different timbre. "I'm sure that I'll be fine, too."

Bella grinned, glad to be relieved of the gnawing guilt that had been with her all week, and offered him her notes from the day before. His reserved smile broadened when he saw the organized details and interpretations written out in her scrawl. They went over the notes quickly while he transcribed. By the time the teacher entered the room she had given him a summary of the lecture and the two were chatting comfortably.

* * *

**E/N: It's a bum chapter ending, I know. Still, I thought it served a purpose of filling in a gap and creating another... just _where_ did Edward go and _why_ was he all scratched up? The answer to that: will be told during a following announcement - earlier, though, if you review and guess. **

**Also, I know I haven't responded to all the Favs/Reviews/Alerts, but to those I missed: THANK YOU! YOU ARE A MOTIVATING FACTOR IN MY WRITING, AND I HOPE TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE THINKING OF THE STORY VERY SOON. Much love, even with sporatic updates on this storyline,**

**~Mandala Morgaine**


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I realize this is rated T now. There is some cursing in this chapter; in future chapters the amount may increase. What to do about the rating... also, I don't update this nearly as much as I do my main story, _My Intoxication. _That is the primary storyline, written in 1st person. I recommend checking it out!_

Infat 5

The weekend passed too quickly for Bella, who enjoyed not having to summon the nerve to confront a nonexistent lab partner. Her feelings of anger had in the meantime solidified into an intense sense of what she hoped was apathy toward him. She now merely hoped that he would fail the Biology test on Tuesday and that he would get no credit for their final project.

On Monday, Bella was calm. He had not been in school for an entire week – he had no reason to show up now. She parked her truck in the near-empty lot and joined Angela and Eric for breakfast in the cafeteria before heading to her first class. When she slid into her first class as the bell rang, she was prepared to face the day.

By lunch she was not so sure. Several glimpses in the halls had given her enough suspicion to tighten her stomach into a knot, and even though she had not seen Jasper, she felt his presence; it made her heart pound and her breath tighten. It made her blood surge; it made her _mad. It made her nervous._

"Hey, Jasper Hale is back," said Jessica as they entered the lunch line. "What are you going to say to him?"

What _would_ she say? Bella turned toward the Cullen table and watched Jasper's back with hawk-like intensity, but no idea of confrontation seemed to suit the situation. Circumstances had changed and, with a gulp, she looked at the tray of food that was no longer appetizing.

Bella put her food back and picked out a soda. "I think I'll just ignore him."

"Impossible," replied Jessica with an airy laugh. "You can't _ignore_ one of Dr. Cullen's boys: they're perfection in a package." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Bella flushed and almost tripped as she focused on looking at her tray. "Oh, he isn't going to get to _me_. I can do without moody, self-absorbed, confrontational men in my life."

Jessica popped the cap off her juice immediately after they took their seats. "No "bad boy" persona for you?"

"_No._" Bella fiddled with her bottle but did not open it. Instead, she danced it across the tables in small figure-eights.

"Whatever you say, Bella." Jessica smirked. "Good girls never can resist the bad boys. It's nature."

Bella shook her head and opened her book to study as Mike arrived. He ruffled her hair, greeting her in crass way that she found irksome, and sat down next to her. Once she had nodded and ignored his attempts at conversation long enough, he turned his attention to Jessica. She was surprised about this until she caught a snippet of their chat.

"- told a teacher to fuck off today!" Mike was saying. "He still looks sick. Why would his parents send him back to school like that?"

"Bella and I were just talking about that," exclaimed Jessica. Bella raised her head. "He's naturally moody, you know? I don't think he was sick at all."

Mike looked to Bella and waited for additional information. She just shook her head. "Isn't there any other conversation we could be having?"

"Besides Speedo padding on the swim team? No."

Bella sighed and returned to her book. She wanted to read twenty more pages before the bell rang.

When the bell rang Bella slammed her book shut and hurried to class, determined to be there before her lab partner. She needn't have worried; Jasper did not enter the classroom until well after the second bell had rung. By this time the assignment had been given and the lab started.

She hoped he would mind his own business, but he sat down and turned to her with a grin. Her heart sank and sped at the same time.

"Funny we have a class together, isn't it?" He laughed. _Was he mocking her?_

"_What_ is your problem?" she snapped. It did not seem to faze him, however.

"You have to be specific. I have a lot of those," he rejoined with a smirk that ground her nerves raw. She turned back to the lense of her microscope with a huff and quickly identified the cell.

"Metaphase," she said, looking up. He merely quirked an eyebrow. _He had not heard the directions._ She motioned for him to write the answer, fully aware that she was illustrating as if he was a caveman. He handed her the next slide and wrote the answer down on her sheet of paper faithfully.

"So… how do you like the snow?" he asked as she had her focus on the microscope.

Bella looked up. "I didn't think you were one for clichés. Are you _really_ talking about the weather?"

He snorted in disbelief and shook his head. The straggling strands of blond hair moved softly with the motion. "Sue me if that's a problem to you." He waved her away from the microscope and squinted in briefly before answering anaphase.

When Bella's eyes widened, he shrugged, quoted another baffling Latin phrase, and told her not to be patronizing before handing her the next slide. She caught a hint of a scar, just a thin line on his wrist, as she accepted the piece of glass. He noticed, apparently, because his friendship went cold and he retreated backward.

The coldness made Bella awkward. She mumbled an answer, which was shorter than his laughter entailed. It seemed feverish and hysterical to Bella, but the reaction still broke her last nerve. She internally slapped herself for trying to speak with him reasonably; it was not possible.

As if realizing this, his face stilled and grew solemn. He apologized. Bella, though surprised, refused to accept it for the simple fact that, with a man like this, it was an insincere apology and would mean little in the future. "I can be an ass sometimes," he said simply. _As if that would solve anything_. "Where in "The South" are you from?"

Bella put her slides away as the clock ticked down toward the bell. "Why would _that_ matter to you?" she muttered, more to herself than him. He heard the comment, though, and stiffened again.

"No idea," he snapped. He picked up his books and left the room. To Bella he seemed perfectly in time with the bell. She remained seated, stunned by his abrupt reaction and also curiously guilty. She had heard in his voice – or had she? – a slight tinge… a hint of a Southern dialect?

He had been genuinely trying to be nice. She had shot him down like a rabid dog without pausing to see if the foam around his mouth was soap suds or disease. She felt horrible. Tomorrow, if he was still injured and upset – if he wasn't too rude, that was – she would have to apologize.

_Shit._

* * *

Okay. Cursing not too bad yet. I enjoy reviews and will try to reply to them, though I have not been particularly good about it in recent weeks on the other storyline. Oops and apologies!

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	6. Chapter 6

Infat 6

Tuesday morning turned Bella's mood sour. She woke late from a bad dream to find the roads slick with ice and slush. She _hated_ ice. She'd never crashed, never spun out or hydroplaned across its surface, but she loathed it based on mistrust and the human survival instinct.

She rushed through a light breakfast, which was all she could stomach while thinking of the upcoming confrontation with _him_, and bundled herself before heading out to the truck. She drove slowly and made it into the parking lot without incident. The truck drove steadily on the ice. It was more than she could say for herself after slipping and nearly falling twice.

The baffling miracle was explained as she hopped down from her truck and noticed the chains wrapped around the tires. She felt a tug in her heart. She didn't know when Charlie had had a chance to do the work, but the sentiment was touching.

Jasper's shout threw her off balance. She grabbed the side mirror to steady herself, scowling as she noticed the grin on his face.

"_What_ do you want?" she snapped, noticing with certain smugness how he walked so uneasily on ice.

He opened his mouth to retort, but their bickering was cut short by the crashing, grinding scream of metal. Bella froze, her eyes frozen on the van skidding toward her, and did not see Jasper scrambling for her until he collided with her. She thought vaguely that the impact wasn't supposed to come from _that_ direction, and then her head slammed into the ground.

She was moving and fuzzy light wavered in her eyes before there was only the dark undercarriage of her truck and unearthly sounds. She heard the sound of breaking glass approach and felt his body cover hers before she could feel it, too. A second or third (she couldn't be sure) impact knocked her senseless momentarily; she was in danger of passing out.

Everything was heavy. She was cold. She felt a gritty, dragging sensation and shaky fingers prodding her, feeling her neck. She heard his sigh.

"You okay?" he whispered, gently slapping her face.

Bella groaned and tried to respond. She stopped moving when he hissed involuntarily and she realized that he was on top of her. Her heart pounded. She opened her eyes, looked into his eyes and almost stopped breathing.

He was gorgeously injured, and he hadn't noticed yet. Bella saw the blood leaking down into his eyes and choked. He whispered assurances to her, his voice low and unusually shaky, and she realized after a moment that they were for him as much as they were for her. He was scared.

He untangled himself from her slowly between unsteady breaths, and she faded in and out of consciousness to the smell of his blood and the sound of his pain. Voices began calling out, and Jasper answered them for her, his voice cracked and tremulous. He screamed when the paramedics pulled him free.

Bella waited for the voices to return, her consciousness returning once she was relieved of the blood stench. She cried more from fear than pain and wondered more than once how Jasper had fared in the incident. She tested her limbs and found that it did not exacerbate any pain. Eyes streaming tears, she began to scoot her way from underneath the truck's protective frame.

The paramedics helped her out and carried her to a gurney. She protested when they tried to strap her down, saying that nothing hurt when she moved. _No broken bones._ They allowed her to sit while they prodded her limbs to be sure. Satisfied, they bandaged the small nick on her forehead.

Bella looked through the crowd dizzily and then through it to Edward, who was watching the first ambulance drive away. She thought of Jasper and how Edward had seemed so angry about his skipping school, as if it was impossible for them to get along. The lost look on Edward's face now confused her.

The medics needed to bring her in to the hospital, after all, to get a CAT scan. They allowed her the dignity of climbing into the ambulance, and she stepped up proudly. She called to Edward, who came running.

"Hop in, we're going to the hospital."

He nodded and joined her on the bench. The ambulance pulled out of the parking lot. They looked at each other. Bella gripped the gurney separating them tightly with each jolt. Edward's face was grim.

"I'm sure he's fine," she said after his absent expression became unbearable. "He was talking to me."

He looked up at her from the riveted floor he'd been studying.

"After the crash, that is," she finished.

He nodded slowly.

"He was scared a bit, but he didn't seem badly hurt."

"Jasper's terrified of cars," Edward said slowly.

Bella sat up straight, shocked that he'd spoken, and waited for him to continue.

"His real mom died in a car crash; he survived – barely – and ever since then he's been scared to death of rain, ice and being behind the wheel." His voice was pained, even worried. He looked directly into her eyes.

She gulped. "I didn't know that," she whispered.

Edward laughed bitterly. "Neither did I until last week. Some things he'd never admit, even to his brother."

Edward stayed with Bella while the doctors ran her through the CAT scan machine. They didn't talk much and most of the talk centered on Jasper or the crash. Bella admired Jasper's ability to step into the way of a moving vehicle but so quietly; Edward was not so star struck. When she was officially released and given directions to the ward where Jasper was being worked on, he excused himself to call his mom.

She walked through the ward alone, wandering toward the room bustling with activity. She heard the unmistakable sound of Jasper cursing at the doctors. She stopped a nurse, who was exiting the room with a metal tray full of bloody glass, and asked her how he was doing.

"They're just about to set his arm," she replied. The end of the sentence was drowned out by a distorted scream. She flinched away from the door. Quieter voices murmured inside the door; she couldn't hear what they were saying, but Jasper's voice was gone.

Bella sat down against the far wall to wait.

**EN: It's been over a year. Why didn't anyone yell at me? To be honest, I'd rather forgotten this story arc until I was looking for a suitable excuse for a character's future behavior. It seemed plausible to start writing this story; third person has always been easier, anyway.**

**Anywhoo... review, please! It'll be brand-new if you've since forgotten what "My Intoxication" had to say about this moment. Yay you!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Infat. 7

It was nearly twenty minutes before a doctor reopened the door and beckoned her in. Charlie had called in the mean time to make sure she was okay and to remind her to call her mother, who was worried. Not that Renee had needed to know about the almost-incident, but she needed to call now that Charlie had spilled the beans.

Bella stood, dusted her pants quickly and grabbed her purse because, somehow, it had stayed with her from the parking lot to the hospital without getting left behind. She entered the room and sat in the seat next to his hospital bed.

A sheet covered his body up to the neck. She saw pink stains smudged around the edges just as she'd seen a hint of his mottled, broken hand before he'd been able to hide it when she walked through the door. Jasper's face was damp; he looked feverish, but she knew it was one of the body's reactions to extreme pain. He was definitely in agony, but he tried to ignore it as he spoke. Her heart twisted.

He adjusted his position with a grimace, shivered and asked her whether she was okay. He sounded nervous. She knew it was because of her; they seemed to mix like vinegar and baking soda.

"They thought I might have a concussion," she said quietly, looking at his unreadable expression, "but I don't think they should have been so worried about _me_."

He laughed and leaned back to rest. "I'm not responsible for my actions if I don't get a cigarette soon," he said. "Otherwise I'm fine."

Bella had somehow forgotten that he was a smoker. She'd seen him smoking in the parking lot or sitting on the sidewalk near the steps close to where her lunch group gathered before school. Unlike kids she'd known in Arizona, who only smoked in crowds to feign maturity and taunt conventions, Jasper smoked alone. She could see the compulsion in his mannerisms and knew he was addicted, which bothered her more from a health perspective than the bad-breath angle – she would kiss a smoker who looked as good as he did - but overlooked the habit, fit him so well it seemed invisible.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you this morning, Jasper." She found it hard to meet his intense gaze, to handle to shock on his face. Thankfully, he closed his eyes and laughed.

"I was going to apologize to _you_," he said, "for being such an ass."

It was difficult for her to respond sincerely because, with his jocular answers, Jasper managed to deflect all seriousness from the situation. He seemed to have forgotten being hit by a van, breaking his arm or that he was in a hospital bed. Rather, he turned to poking fun at a situation that Bella herself would have been in terrors over. As it was, she was sure her mom had left seven messages on her cell phone already. She wanted to slap him – if he hadn't already been hurt on her account.

A doctor entered the room and began whispering to the nurse, who nodded and began assembling equipment. Jasper just kept talking, but Bella looked at the array of scalpels uneasily; she hated blood and knives always meant blood loss.

The doctor looked at the faintly green shade her face had taken. "Do you want to stay or are you squeamish?"

She was about to reply when Jasper answered for her abruptly. She started in surprise then fumed with indignation as the tone of his words sunk in. Bella hated assumptions and people (men) making decisions for her. Her eyes met his in a death match for a moment; then she stood and left the room.

Halfway down the hall her head cleared enough for her to remember her purse. She cursed softly and, turning back to the room, steeled herself for his anger. She couldn't help but blush at the situation – it was like admitting defeat in a blood feud – but thought she _might_ be able to sneak in and grab the purse before he noticed her.

The hope was short lived. She'd hardly entered the room before the sight of his mangled arm stopped her in her tracks. She recovered herself quickly and looked down, but he'd seen her.

"Were you curious for a look?" he snarled, his handsome face contorted.

She felt his judgment placed more on her presence in his life than on the moment itself, a sharp and deadly accusation that cut her to the quick. She seethed inside at his ability to play polite while his hatred was evident but instead lost her composure. Jaw trembling, she snatched her back, mumbled a quick apology and fled with as much dignity as she could muster.

Bella spent ten minutes crying in the women's room and another five composing herself. She called her mom and almost cried again while assuring her that everything was okay, that she was just a little overwhelmed. When she flipped her phone shut, she dried her face with a paper towel and, satisfied that her eyes were only a bit puffy, walked out to the waiting room.

Edward fidgeted in one of the chairs. He nearly smiled when she entered but instead stood and approached. His brows were furrowed, his green eyes searching and concerned.

"What did he do?" he said by way of greeting.

Bella sniffed, her eyes threatening to well up again. "Can you read my mind that easily?"

"No, but reading your face is easy enough." He jerked his head toward the cafeteria. "C'mon, I'll buy you a coffee."

She smiled and accepted his offer. The two walked silently, feeling the other's close proximity, and thought about Jasper. Edward sat her down at a table separate from the rest of the cafeteria and brought the coffee to her. He sat down and smiled broadly. She shivered.

"Drink. It'll warm you up … you're probably in shock still."

She sipped the beverage and found it almost as enjoyable as her company. They talked, first about Jasper and how difficult he was, then gradually about themselves. Edward had lost both parents as a young child and been adopted by Esme, his maternal aunt.

"It feels more natural to call her 'mom,' though," he mused. "It sounds odd, but it's not. They've raised me. I'll be an interior decorating surgeon before I'm twenty-five."

Bella laughed and began a story about her mother, who was the antithesis of "interior designer." Soon, they were both laughing raucously, sharing ridiculous tales over one shared cup of coffee.

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**E/N: I am determined to update more often. If you like my fanfic, track me down on Twitter (link on profile) for blurbs and shortlinks to my blog. =)**


	8. Chapter 8

Infat 8

Charlie and Bella talked about the day on the drive home. She was glad to learn that Tyler was concussed but otherwise fine. His van was totaled and Charlie had almost revoked his license out of anger, but seeing that Bella was also okay had made him change his mind. Jasper, however, had been an unexpected casualty, and Charlie expressed great wonder at his behavior.

"Don't be so generous," Bella grumbled. "He's already regretting that decision."

"He wasn't in the best shape the last time I checked in. Maybe that had some swaying factor for him." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Yeah, well they set his arm and patched him up, Dad. You should've seen the look on his face when I walked in on that."

Charlie glanced over quickly. "Yeah?"

"He asked me if I 'was curious for a look.' Can you believe that?" Bella fumed. "As if I'd want to watch them cut his hand open. He was being such an ass!"

"Bella!"

"Sorry."

"The kid's got issues," he said as they pulled into the driveway, "but don't believe for a second he'd pick his life over someone else's."

Bella could say nothing in agreement. She'd seen the look on his face, heard his voice. Charlie hadn't. Luckily, he took her silence as an agreement and changed the subject. Today, as a treat, he was taking charge of dinner.

They ate fish sandwiches and undercooked potatoes for dinner. There was nothing healthy about the meal, but Bella thought it was good for Charlie to cook… once in a while. After dinner, he shooed her into the living room to watch TV while he washed dishes; she protested until he assured her in a sarcastic tone that forty years of life was more than enough to learn how to clean a kitchen. She shut up and watched the screen.

The following month was two parts awkward, one part awesome. The next week was a frustrating mix of high school gossip and post-accident fame that left her at the mercy of her peers. Everywhere she looked she found people staring as if she was a side show attraction: the Girl who Survived.

Navigating through the social typhoon called Lunch became Bella's biggest obstacle. Specifically, the lunch table had become crowded… with boys. Tyler, Ben, Mike and his lab partner Corey had nearly edged out Jessica, Angela and Lauren. She could do without Lauren, but being separated from Angela, her one ally, was nearly unbearable and the other girls thought she was attention grabbing.

She wasn't. Bella hated the attention. She preferred anonymity, blending in with her average features and standard dress. She was diplomatic. She read books instead of flirting. She knew who the Bronte sisters were and, after the stupid looks she got when she openly admitted her preference for them over JK Rowling, kept the opinion to herself. She hated that she was a rock that muddied water and caused ripples.

Her life was filled with preferential treatment. She was overwhelmed and skeptical of the courtesy boys began to offer her, especially Mike. She noticed that Jasper, who had been in more danger than her, was forgotten by the mob; he sat next to Alice during lunch, his blank gaze fixed on the far wall or the table or the floor but never meeting anyone else's gaze. At first she was jealous, but after time went by she became uneasy about the distant look in his eyes.

Edward brushed her off when she asked if Jasper was okay. "I'm sure he's managing the pain just fine," he said, and his tone warned Bella not to bring up the subject again.

Bella stopped talking about Jasper and, consequently, _to_ Edward. Class work kept them preoccupied and, on the occasions when they saw each other outside of class, Edward appeared frazzled. The budding friendship seemed doomed to failure before it had a chance to blossom.

It was over a week before she worked up the courage to talk to Edward again outside of class. He was talking to Alice, and Bella stood weighing the necessity of friendship and good grades before finally approaching.

Alice skipped away upon her approach, leaving a confused Edward behind. Bella smiled as he ran a hand through his hair and looked after his sister. She cleared her throat. He jumped a mile, and she couldn't help snickering.

"I have a question," she said, grinning, and watched him regain composure.

"I have an answer." He smirked.

"I can't find anatomy books at the library." She watched his right eyebrow rise in surprise, the expression too adorable to miss.

"We have some at home," he offered, recovering from the surprise, "but there's a big library up in Port Angeles. I was going today, if you want to come along."

A thrill shot up Bella's spine and she accepted without the usual deliberation. When he offered to pick her up twenty minutes after school let out, without discussion or debate, she nodded. He spoke confidently, without hesitation or second guessing; it was easy for her to give him her cell phone number.

Two hours later Bella was sitting in the passenger's seat of Edward's silver Volvo, her hand clenched on the door handle as he sped down the highway. The trees raced past in a blur that made her heart race, but Edward was smiling. His fingers drummed slowly across the steering wheel in time with Ravel's Pavane. He glanced at her and smiled.

"I'm not going to crash, you know. I'm an excellent driver."

"Careful, your smug is showing," Bella deadpanned.

Edward shot her a sidelong glance that left her face flushed. She slouched back and almost propped her feet up on his dashboard. Unable to relax, she fidgeted instead. He chuckled.

"You look like my brother. I'd forgotten why Alice always gets front seat."

"Because you drive like a maniac?"

He snorted back a laugh. "And you talk like him, too."

"Geez, you really know how to compliment women, don't you?"

He laughed so hard that he lost tempo to the song. It was a carefree laugh that she thought he didn't use often – probably because it was too irresistible to be fair to the competition. She wondered how few people had seen the laugh lines around his eyes or the small dimple on his cheek. If he laughed like this more often he would leave heartbroken girls sobbing in his wake.

Thank God she wasn't one of them.

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_This story updates less often than the main storyline, but I do try to keep it coming... every couple weeks or so. Leave a review for love! ~Mandala M._


	9. Chapter 9

Infat 9

He let her put her feet up on the dash for the rest of the drive. The smudge marks would come off, he reasoned, and Jasper would never find out. His brother had a habit of kicking back, too, but Edward had forbidden him from scuffing up his car as soon as he'd bought it; he knew what Jasper could do. Bella was much more innocent.

She wasn't a destructive force, and he didn't just think that in terms of his car's upholstery. Bella was sweet and gentle-natured. Everything about her was mired in a perpetual state of altruism that left her defenseless against people like … well, like his brother.

Edward turned off Main Street and watched her face light up when she saw the two story library in the distance. He smiled. Driving up to Port Angeles with Bella beat the hell out of his solo trip up here to find Jasper, which had ended with him getting into a fight with some grungy drug dealer by the waterfront. That had been a nightmare. This was pleasant.

Bella and Edward strolled through the library doors an hour before closing. His priority was getting her a library card, but Bella walked past the circulation desk and into the stacks without slowing. She felt his grin from ten feet away, but when she turned he had gone another direction, leaving her with the entire library to explore on her own. How he knew her so well was a mystery.

She traced the canvas and leather spines of the books as she meandered through the history, biography, astronomy and philosophy sections until arriving at biology. The smell of worn paper was traced with a slightly musty scent that hung in the still air. She knelt reverently and studied the titles, place marking each book she thought would be useful.

When Edward found her thirty minutes later, Bella was sitting in the aisle with books scattered in a circle around her. He noted with amusement that each book was bookmarked to the table of contents and meticulously sorted by subject. She caught him in her peripheral vision and turned.

"A lady of my own heart," Edward declared, nodding at the books.

Bella looked at her circle of books. "You like biology?"

"Your 'cool points' just went up by ten," he said with a grin that she was unable to ignore. She smiled at him bemusedly and began gathering the books.

Bella worked diligently on her biology project and was able to pull some comparative information together. It formed the spine of her entire project, the connection she would make between the weather and emotions, between the food chain and the digestive tract, and between pollution and toxicants.

Edward was a consultant of sorts. It was mostly because he looked over her shoulder when she was reading and liked to point out parallels, but she didn't mind it. They discussed the project during English and before Latin class, their heads together like conspirators as Bella explained the diagram she was working out and he made suggestions. The project was supposed to be a team effort, after all, and she reasoned that a brother was _almost_ as good as the real thing.

She continued the work during Biology, though it took more concentration to ignore Jasper. His foot-tapping was growing more intricate and irksome by the day. He seemed to follow a pattern in his irritation that centered on anything to do with her - or maybe it was just Mike Newton's constant presence and overbearing cologne. His reaction reinforced her notion that he regretted the split second decision that had ended with him in the hospital faced with surgical knives and splints.

She worked best before Latin with Alice chiming in occasionally with less Biology advice and more social commentary. Alice insisted that there were always people watching and making snap judgments based on hearsay and rumors. She was unobtrusive enough to overhear the conversations and smart enough to listen between the lines, so she almost always knew what would happen before anyone else. It amused Bella endlessly, and the two of them could easily chat away on the absurdity of social politics unless Edward brought them back to task quickly.

When Alice scurried into the classroom damp and smelling like cigarettes, Bella and Edward exchanged a look. Sometimes she spent the time before school under an umbrella in the lot while Jasper chain smoked. How she could stand him was Bella's guess. Any time she'd seen the two of them, the duo appeared to be a modern take on _American Gothic_. He maintained a stony expression and Alice, in true Alice fashion, stood in mocking stoicism.

Alice slid into her chair and turned immediately to Bella. Her face was excited, her eyes twinkling with a story that Bella already knew must be about her. She felt vaguely queasy; it was something that only nerves and undo attention could do to her.

"Bella." Alice was intense. She rarely paused for dramatic emphasis. "Are you, by chance, going to the Spring Dance?"

"And fall flat on my face at the dance floor?" scoffed Bella, remembering her last dancing experience with a wince. _"Heck no!"_

"Well, you'd better come up with a better excuse than that, because –" she stopped as Mike Newton walked into the room, her eyes narrowing on him just a little before she shook her head and said in a chipper voice, "Just think hard, ok?"

Bella nodded and looked at Edward, who smirked and raised an eyebrow. She was confused. "_What?_"

"No offense, Bells, but you're kinda hot shit around here." He grinned _that_ grin. "Hearts will be broken today."

She scoffed but, as morning passed, became apprehensive as her friends started to slow down when passing, as if in unconscious orbit around her. Jessica stayed close and kept up a steady stream of conversation, her face unusually glum. Bella, sensing it had something to do with Mike's nervous hovering, knew better than to bring it up. She had a feeling of impending doom.

Mike got his alone time with her before biology class, but she couldn't help but notice his eyes glance between her and Jasper. She cursed herself for being so aware of Jasper's tapping feet, which had stalled mid-song as Mike approached. She tried to ignore his presence as she and Mike talked, but all the words sounded strained when she knew Jasper Hale was eavesdropping. Her heart thumped loudly. He had silently resented her for six weeks… _why was he paying attention now?_

She tried to escape class quickly, but Mike caught up with her in the crowd – she assumed he had squeezed his way through – and resumed their conversation. His voice was too earnest. She paused in hopes that the traffic in the hall would brush him off her, but he stepped in close. She backed against the wall.

"So, do you want to ask me to the Spring Dance?" he asked.

"That weekend?"

For an instant she was relieved that he'd finally stopped hesitating and just _asked_ already. Then she panicked as she realized she needed to respond to him. She looked up and, instead of Mike's nervous face, saw Jasper watching her as he passed through the crowd. His expression had stalled halfway between a smile and a sneer. It was beautifully contradicting, both intensely attracting and dismissive. She couldn't decide what to make of the way it made her knees wobble, but the whiplash from his mood swings cleared her head regarding Mike.

"I'm going to Seattle that weekend," she spurted suddenly, her eyes darting back to Mike. "There's an exhibit there that works perfectly with my project. Didn't Jessica ask you?"

He sighed and looked at his feet. "Yeah, but I was hoping…"

She shook her head, blushing. "You should really take her up on that, Mike. You two look really good together." It didn't hurt to goad a man's ego every once in a while, right?

She squeezed past him to get to gym class. They managed to ignore each other and the awkward interaction through class, and Bella was relieved when Jessica burst into the locker room gushing about going to the dance with Mike. She smiled and congratulated her friend, but she was just looking forward to running to the hardware store and getting home as soon as possible.

Tyler caught up with her as she reached her car. He held up an umbrella for her against the rain as she fumbled for her keys. Unlike Mike, he was casual and straightforward.

"Do you want to go to the Spring Dance with me?"

Bella dropped her keys, and he swiped them out of the puddle before she could reach to get them. She blushed. He smiled, and she considered the possibility that he thought she was blushing because of him. She hated being put in this situation; it was _so_ awkward.

She could have fallen into hysterics, but she shook her head and laughed instead. _These kinds of things could only happen to her._ She brushed by him to her truck.

"I'm going to Seattle that day. I thought Mike would've told you," she said dismissively. "Oh, he did," Tyler said, trying to keep his face upbeat, "but I thought you might've been trying to let him off easy."

She tossed her backpack into the truck and turned back to her would-be suitor. "I don't know how to lie even if I wanted to. You should try Lauren, though. She's looking for someone to go with."

He nodded and walked toward his car with slumped shoulders. Bella hopped in the driver's seat and slammed the door. She glanced into the review mirror and saw Jasper and Alice walking arm-in-arm down the stairs. The surge of jealousy that ripped through her gut was surprising. She slammed her foot down on the gas pedal.

Her truck tore out of the parking space and nearly stalled as she jerked it to a stop behind Edward's car, which was parked a mere six inches too far into the lane. Alice and Jasper slid into the backseat, and Bella revved her engine. She wanted to smash the car's fender – on Jasper's side – but knew it wouldn't be revenge on the blond-haired jerk sitting in harm's way.

She was being irrational, but the next time she saw Jasper Hale, she would destroyhim for confusing her emotions.

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_**E/N: Thanks for sticking around to read when I don't update so often. It takes a while to get through my brother storyline, you see.. Anywho! I hope you liked the chapter.. stick around and let me know what you think!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Infat 10

Bella swore under her breath, and the truck jolted to a halt in the parking lot. She scrutinized the silver Volvo across the lot for a familiar blond mop of hair. Seeing no movement near the car, she parked several spaces away and ducked into the hardware store before she lost her courage.

She flinched as the bell jingled when she entered and then chided herself for being so jumpy. So Jasper had acknowledged her… that didn't _mean_ anything. She had to deal with Mike every day, and she was less attracted to him than she would be a spider. Interacting was a basic human function; it didn't mean anything to her.

_Except when _he's_ doing the acknowledging._

Despite Bella's best efforts, her hormonal side – which steadfastly maintained was irresponsible – had set up exceptions for all her rules when it came to Jasper Hale. He was irritable, but she could match his temper step for step. His sense of humor was warped; she liked that. Nothing else seemed to matter when it came to him, though she knew for a fact that it should. It frustrated her that he confused her meticulously laid plans and stuck in her mind like a burr.

She turned the corner and almost didn't see him. She stopped short and watched him test the plastic tubing like a trained professional, his face intent. The muscles in his back rippled beneath his shirt. She sighed and jumped back when he turned.

"Can I help you, Bella?"

She looked past the smile to the sneer hiding on his tongue. His tone was grating on her last nerve, but his hopeful smile was anesthetizing the pain. There were a thousand things she wanted to shout at him, but she couldn't think of anything that would slap him hard enough to break the infuriating wall of ice around his heart. Nothing would impact him as much as he had hurt her.

"I really doubt it," she said, turning.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her around. She jerked away from him. "I'm actually trying to be polite here," he said as if it could make a difference. Angry Bella had just found her voice.

"Either you're an asshole and just don't know yet or you're an even _bigger_ ass because you do this shit on purpose!" she retorted. "Maybe you should just decide whether you'll play nice, because, honestly, I'm sick of living with your regret."

He repeated her last word as if it was foreign. He blinked in confusion, digesting what she'd said. Somewhere in her mind, Bella heard his ice crack. She smiled victoriously.

"Yeah, Jasper, _regret._" He took a step back as she berated him with all the accusations she'd been considering over the last six weeks. "I realize you hate me, okay? So do me a favor and stop pretending to care."

He came to the same conclusion she had weeks ago with a look of horror on his face. The words tripped from his mouth slowly, hesitating on his lips. He spoke as if through a fog.

"You think I wanted the van to kill you," he said.

She thought of a thousand witty responses and even more sarcastic ones. _No, I thought you wanted to hug me and play nice when Alice is out of the picture. I thought you wanted me to be a _bit _more maimed than you. I thought that there might be a chance your smiles were genuine._

Instead, she chose the simple, vindictive answer. "Of course."

Jasper recoiled as if she'd slapped him in the face, and in a way she had. The hurt expression fell from his face like washed-out colors. He swayed in place, looking sick, as his face turned a queer shade of gray. He mumbled something and brushed by her, a shaky hand over his mouth. In the distance, Bella heard the ice shatter. It wasn't until then that she realized what she'd said.

She bought the part Charlie needed to fix the sink. The parking lot was empty when she emerged, and she kicked her way across the weathered asphalt moodily. Every oil stain and hardened wad of gum seemed to glare at her from the pavement, but it was just the tears gathering in her eyes. This time, however, she was angry with herself.

When she arrived home, she dumped the bag on the kitchen counter and walked outside. The afternoon was cloudy but, so far, rain free. She took a stroll around the block but found no enjoyment with mind so uneasy. She kicked pebbles, stomped in puddles and dragged her heels like a child with a temper tantrum. Then she returned to the house and threw ingredients into the Crockpot before grumbling her way upstairs.

Concentration eluded her. She read her assignment for English twice before finally deciding that Cliff Notes would be a better option. Her mind was too preoccupied to focus on Mark Twain stories, and she thought perhaps a better assignment would have been to write an essay on guilt. That way she could expunge it from her brain and get Jasper off her mind.

The look on his face was seared into her brain. She already knew he didn't hate her – hadn't even _considered_ the possibility of hating her – and that made her words ring louder. The sound was deafening in her ears. Rather than tempering her confusion, saying what she meant had jumbled the thoughts already racing through her mind.

She picked up her cell phone twice to call Edward but thought better of it both times. It bad social etiquette to call a boy and ask for his brother. Not only that, she got the sense that the two were a fault line on the verge of a temblor; their relationship was strained at best, which was confusing in and of itself when she remembered how protective Edward had seemed of his big brother. Yet every time she brought Jasper up, his face became stormy. No, she couldn't call – even if she wanted to apologize.

Bella paced and cleaned for an hour then browsed the Internet for another two hours before giving in the urge to call home. Well, to be precise, she was calling Renee. The exact location of "home" changed with the whims of Phil's schedule. Renee, however, was never far from her cell phone.

Her mom answered breezily after the third ring with an explanation of runaway phones. Bella chuckled.

"Hi, Mom. I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"Oh, baby, I know that voice." The best thing about Renee was that, despite her wild ideas about painting the cupboards lemon yellow or wearing straw hats year-round, she had mind-bending intuition when it came to relationships. "What's wrong?"

"Remember that car crash?"

"Of course! Is this about Jasper?"

Bella groaned and nodded into the phone, disturbed that her mom had remembered his name after such a long time. "Jasper. Yeah."

"Sounds like someone is a little infatuated with this boy!"

Bella threw herself onto her bed and hugged her pillow. "Don't say that, mom," she moaned. "He's a jerk!"

"Oh, honey," her mom soothed. "Tell me all about it."

She confessed to her mom about how rude he'd been and what she had said to him. "He looked so confused, Mom. This is the first time I've stuck up for myself instead of crying, and I feel _so_ bad!"

"I think he likes you," Renee said softly after a moment's deliberation.

Bella was easily annoyed by her mother's romanticism. In her mind, she wasn't in elementary school anymore; pulling her pigtails and making her cry wasn't a charming way to win her affection. She grumbled.

"It's a nice way to show it," she snipped.

"Well, he got your attention, didn't he?"

Bella knew her mom was smiling on the other end of the line. She sighed heavily. If her mom thought so, then it must be true… she just wished it wasn't. The embarrassment and guilt were unbearable.

"Listen, Bella, he's sounds like a bigger social idiot than you. That's hard to find, you know. He might be the one."

"Mom!"

Renee laughed. "Well, when it comes to boys you _are_ clueless."

Bella chuckled humorlessly, remembering her last crush in Phoenix, who was now in a relationship… with another man. The one before that, Liam, her first official crush – because she couldn't count Justin Timberlake – had turned out to be a pill popping addict with a death wish. At this rate, Jasper was probably a serial killer._ She sure knew how to pick them._

By the time she ended the phone call, Bella knew she had to apologize to Jasper. He had saved her life, and she at least owed him that. He deserved a new start. But, he was so unapproachable that she didn't know when or where she'd get to talk to him. Either way, when she saw her chance she was taking it.

* * *

**E/N: Thank you, everyone, for your favs/alerts. Bakahime123, vickycullen89 and all the others! You keep me motivated (not joking) because I feel bad for missing updates now. See you soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**_You guys should know better than to let me go a month without posting! =) Back by popular demand... and necessity! Enjoy!_**

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Infat 11

Bella couldn't say she was surprised when Jasper didn't show up at school on Thursday. He was dedicated to avoiding people and situations that made him uncomfortable. She guessed that, right now, that meant her.

Edward's silver car wasn't in the lot, either, which mean that he was dealing with what he lightly called "family drama" and they both knew meant "Jasper drama." It worried her, and she thought about calling him before the first bell rang. The correlation was unmistakable. Whatever had happened overnight was her fault.

Bella hated being right. Always the responsible student, Edward arrived in English class with the wrong notebook and dark shadows under his eyes. She looked him over and couldn't help but notice yesterday's clothes and the collection of rusty splotches on the cuff of his button-up. Her stomach rolled as if she could smell the blood.

"Family issues?" she asked quietly.

When he turned, his eyes were dark. She was sure her face betrayed her, but for once he didn't brush off the question. Instead, he nodded.

"Alice is home babysitting," he said in a tired voice, rubbing his eyes. "Dad's going to be upset."

Whatever Jasper had been up to finally went too far. Edward almost wished that Alice hadn't called him in for help because now he was an accomplice to something that felt wrong on a hundred different levels. He wished he could have remained ignorant, his head full of sand. It was preferable to witnessing the elephant in the room firsthand.

He couldn't just ignore it anymore, though. His brother had a problem since Maria ensnared him in her little web of horrors. Jasper needed help but somehow managed to evade it by keeping their parents on eggshells and Alice in denial about what he would do next. Even Edward, who saw through the bullshit most readily, couldn't predict what his reactions would be.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper. She got the expected response. He shook his head, opened his notebook and closed the conversation.

Jessica called her that evening so excited she could barely speak. The weather forecast for Saturday was favorable, which meant their long-delayed trip to the beach was back on. Mike had a big group of kids meeting at his parents' store mid-morning, and Bella was, of course, invited.

Not that Bella quite looked forward to avoiding Mike and catering to Jessica, but she would enjoy seeing Angela. She was also sure that Jacob Black and some of his friends would make an appearance; they loved cracking jokes about the palefaces.

Bella sensed that there was bigger news waiting in the wings. She wasn't disappointed.

"Oh my God, Bella, so my mom saw Jasper Hale at the hospital this morning. She thinks he tried to kill himself," Jessica said, her voice a bit overeager.

Bella's stomach did another somersault. Jessica gossiped, but Bella hadn't expected this and didn't know whether it was supposed to be a joke. It wasn't a funny one. There was nothing to say in return. If Jessica was telling the truth it was devastating, and if she was lying it was unforgivable.

"Jess, I've gotta go," she lied quickly. "My dad's home."

She hung up the phone before her friend could reply, her fingers already flipping through the pages of her notebook. She paused on the day Edward had given her his home and cellphone numbers "in case she needed more books." She dialed the home phone.

A female voice answered on the other end. Bella hesitated, unsure how to explain herself, and then decided to jump in headfirst.

"Hi, is Jasper home?" She ignored the quaver in her voice when she said his name. Hopefully the woman would take it as intimidation. She wouldn't be wrong per se.

"He's sleeping, but can I tell him who's called?" She was polite.

Bella glanced at her alarm clock. It was only 7:30 pm, an absurd time to pretend to be sleeping, but she didn't want to push her luck – even if he was probably close by gesturing frantically for her to take a message.

"This is his lab partner… um, he wasn't in class today, and I just wanted to see if he's okay?" It was the stupidest excuse she could have given. Jasper would never give his lab partner his phone number. She wanted to melt into the floorboards.

The woman's voice reassured. "He'll be fine."

"Because he looked off yesterday," Bella blurted, her voice dark.

"I'll tell him you called when he wakes," said the voice, though Bella doubted doing so ranked high on her priority list. Bella thanked her and ended the call with a sigh. She hadn't really gotten any answers, and that didn't leave her room for optimism.

_Oh God,_ she thought, stricken at the possibilities, _what did I do?_

Bella slept fitfully that night because, in her dreams, she tried to carry sand but it sifted through her fingers. When she woke, the memories receded but the feelings remained. She felt like failure.

Resolve pulled her out of bed. Obligation drove her to school. She sat in her truck and tried to think of an excuse to get out. She saw friends gathering by the steps and sighed; it was as good a reason as any.

She perfected her plastic smile and cut across the parking lot to greet them. They looked positively horrified. Maybe she had a bird's nest in her hair. She hesitated and realized they were look past her.

_No, not looking at me, _she thought, almost in relief.

Bella began to turn, but a strong arm wrapped around her waist and dragged her along at rapid speed. She scurried to keep pace, her feet barely able to touch ground. Tucked close under his arm, she recognized the scent easily. Cigarettes and sage had never smelled so good – not that she would let him know that.

Once they weren't in danger of being overheard, he dropped her. Without his arm, she stumbled over her freedom. She caught her balance and spun to say something but froze instead. One of his eyes was swollen, the skin tone an ugly shade of purple-green that was not supposed to exist. A cut streaked across his cheekbone into his hair, its path interrupted by tiny butterfly Band-Aids.

"Holy Christ!" she exclaimed, unable to stop herself. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah – well, _no,_" he said. His arms waved, speaking alongside his hands. When he launched into a nonsensical explanation of his behavior, she wondered whether she was seeing the man behind the ice. If so, he was adorable.

She touched his cheek lightly, surprised at how hot the inflamed skin felt and how normal the motion felt. He flinched. She jerked away with an apology.

"Did – did I do this?" she asked. She wrung her hands to keep from touching him again. She'd done enough damage.

He barked a laugh that made her resent her inexplicable belief in Jessica's gossip. "Don't flatter yourself, Swan."

His tone implied that shit happened. It was abrasive, but his expression was gentler. She guessed that this was just his personality. He was emotionally raw, which had turned him into the human equivalent of sandpaper. It was beyond an epiphany; angels trumpeted in Heaven.

When she asked, he was actually embarrassed to admit he'd slipped on a wet floor. The mood turned on its head when he boasted about his hospital visit. He stooped so she could see how they'd cut his hair, but all she could see was the fresh scab running along his scalp. Her hand flexed to a fist; the urge to touch him was strong.

"You're a good person," he said, straightening, "and I'm a bad person, but I want to be friends with you – be even with you at least."

Bella blushed under his serious gaze and tried to think rationally. He had actually given her a warning that they were like peanut butter and broccoli… _what kind of "bad person" did that?_ He also accepted that their relationship might be too damaged for repair. In that case they would tear it down and rebuild.

"I want to be friends, too, but you have to actually talk to me, okay?" she said.

He shot her a quicksilver smile. "I'll talk you to insanity. I can talk all day to be friends with you."

He was a silent guy. It was pulling teeth to engage him in a conversation that extended beyond an argument. She got the distinct impression that he would _never_ chat_. _She could deal with that, though. She could deal with almost anything for him.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

That Bella had a miserable lunch was mostly due to Jessica's chatter and Mike's overbearing protection. He seemed to think that Jasper was some sort of super-strength molester out to steal her away in broad daylight. Jessica was just as busy trying to ferret out what they'd talked about, and no matter how many times Bella lied and said they'd talked about homework, Jessica wouldn't let the issue go. It was absurd.

When she stood with the bell, trying to breeze off before Mike could catch up, she managed to trip over her feet and nearly drop her books. After a second of pure horror she regained her balance. Mike was nowhere to be seen. Bella breathed a relieved sigh and turned to leave.

She walked straight into Jasper's chest. She squeaked, her books tumbling to the floor as she bounced backward, her eyes as wide as his. She bent to pick them up, more irritated with herself than embarrassed, but he stooped quickly and scooped them up, his effort made clumsy by the plaster cast he still wore. Her cheeks grew hot, and she was happy the crowd insulated her Mike or Jessica's line of sight.

She took his presence as a good sign. It was, perhaps, a step in the right direction. "You scared me to death," she said. "I thought you were Mike!"

He shook his head, laughing almost to himself, and walked away. Bella caught up after two steps and fell in beside him, forcing the silly grin off her face. They were friends – if you could count mutual antagonism friendship – and nothing more. Bella didn't think friends carried each other's books; something-mores did. Nothing-mores were the subject of rumors and frequent stares.

"I can carry my books now," she suggested.

Jasper's eyes darted around the hallway and returned to hers. He offered a sheepish smile and handed them back with an apology. Then, in his typically unbalancing way, he asked, "Is it weird?"

She repeated him, fumbling for an answer that only made his smile widen. He changed the subject and asked her about Forks. She was glad to have someone to talk with about town, which, with its one grocery store, two pharmacies and five sporting goods outlets just begged for some good-ol'-boy comparisons.

Mr. Banner was handing out little red medical kits when they took their seats. He handed one to Bella then slapped one down on the desk, slid it across the desk to Jasper and moved on. Bella unwrapped the packaging around the box and popped it open. _Needles._

Confused, she turned to Jasper. He was gone. She hadn't heard him leave over the crackling of cellophane, but when she looked around there he was, arguing with the teacher. Banner pointed Jasper back to his seat and explained the mysterious boxes to the class. Two rows back, Mike began joking loudly about who would faint; his odds were on the tough guy, but Bella knew better. She knew it would be her.

Mr. Banner demonstrated how to use the blood-typing kit on himself. Bella's stomach turned as he held up his now-crimson indicator card to the class. He made his way around the room to check the students' progress, and Bella swore she could smell the salty smell of blood in the air. Cold sweat broke out on her forehead. She gulped and laid her head against the cool desktop as the room began to spin.

"Bella?" Mr. Banner's distant voice seemed concerned.

She moaned in response, not trusting her voice. If she should have skipped class any day, it should have been today. She already knew her blood type anyway. It was AB Positive.

Jasper's voice came to her distantly as if carried over airwaves from the moon. He was volunteering to take her to the nurse. She nodded in agreement, not caring what her classmates would think as long as she didn't throw up lunch in front of them. The motion made her seasick; she wanted to be on solid ground again.

He helped her to her feet. Bella leaned on him, refusing to let her legs buckle in front of the class, as they left the room. Once they were outside he picked her up and began walking slowly, trying not to jar her more than necessary. Bella rested her head against his chest, too queasy to worry that he knew how much she weighed.

His arms began to shake halfway to the office. Bella felt his stride grow labored, and a minute later he jerked to a stop. "Just let me sit for a minute," he said, almost to himself, and sank to the damp sidewalk.

Bella stretched out, pressing her body against the sidewalk, and borrowed Jasper's lap to use as a pillow. His eyes were closed, his expression pinched. He didn't seem to notice and she had to admit that the cool concrete felt amazing.

"Bella? Jasper?" Edward jogged over and knelt by them. Jasper had gone ghostly pale, his lips a mottled hue, but Bella was green. "Is she alright?" Edward asked, already knowing the answer before his brother shook his head.

"I'll take her to the nurse for you," he suggested before helping her to her feet. Bella groaned and turned away. He ignored the ominous sound, as he shoved Jasper's head between his knees and pounded him on the back. The blow shook Jasper, probably hard enough to bruise, but nothing happened. Edward decided this was not a good sign. He thumped him on the back until he shook a whistling breath loose.

"Biology?" he asked immediately.

Jasper nodded weakly, still regaining his breath. Bella thought she heard Edward apologize, but her head was spinning and she couldn't think of why he would need to. He caught her and hoisted her into his arms as she lurched sideways.

Despite her rolling stomach, Bella managed a peek over Edward's shoulder. He was still sitting on the curb with his head between his knees. She cursed Jasper's unkempt hair for hiding his face; she wanted to see his face.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah, he's just afraid of needles," he said with a chuckle.

Bella closed her eyes and floated in his arms. He smelled good. Unfortunately, it really made her want to hurl at the moment.

"You shouldn't laugh," she managed after a moment. "It's really not funny."

On the contrary, thought Edward. The irony was, at very least, amusing, and Jasper would be fine unless he had another panic attack. Still, he managed a chagrined expression for Bella's sake as he backed through the door to the nurse's office.

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes five minutes later was Edward smiling down at her. It took her a moment to register where she was and what had happened. The thought of him carrying her filled her with terror. _Had she thrown up on him? _Judging by his expression, she thought not.

"Good morning, sunshine."

Bella sat up slowly, swatting his hands away when he tried to steady her. "Did I-"

"Faint? Upchuck?" he finished for her, his voice positively mirthful. "It was touch and go there for a minute; you were looking pretty green."

She groaned. At least _he_ seemed to be enjoying himself.

"You know, if you wanted to get out of blood-typing, skipping is a lot easier than fainting." He said. He raised his hands in self defense when Bella made a menacing gesture toward him.

"Be more sympathetic," she snapped, suppressing a smile. "Now I'm going to be the laughing stock of gym class. Everybody's going to make stupid comments."

"We can't have that, now, can we?" Edward chuckled. "I'll talk to the nurse. You go look sickly." There was no room for debate in his voice. Besides, thought Bella, she still felt as if a breeze could blow her over. She leaned against the wall and managed to look feeble – something she thought was all too easily accomplished – while Edward worked his magic, speaking with such authority that the nurse hardly questioned him.

Bella's legs shook as they left the building; she leaned against the cold wall, locked her knees and tried to play it cool. It didn't work. Edward saw through her and told her straight-faced that she'd be an idiot for driving herself home. She glared and opened her mouth to snap back, but he'd already fished his keys out of his pocket and jangled them.

"What about my truck?"

Edward frowned thoughtfully and looked toward the parking lot. "Get Jasper to do it," he said after a minute. "He won't go back to class today anyway."

Bella swallowed nervously. "Are you sure?"

Edward nodded. Jasper rode in cars often enough and even drove when he thought it was important enough – like disappearing for days on a bender while his family was worried sick before showing up at home looking like death and pretending nothing had happened. That had been important enough. Edward knew he was being petty, but he'd driven a hundred miles and looked through as many fetid back alleys while Jasper had been crashing at Rose and Emmett's.

And besides, he knew Jasper would do it for her. He had a hard time saying no.

...

Edward looked in the rearview mirror as his brother doubled over. He looked back to the road, hoping Bella hadn't seen him vomit. She hadn't. She was studying the lacing of her shoes, her face meditative.

"Want a penny?" he asked.

"I feel bad for making him drive," she answered quietly, automatically understanding what he was asking. It hadn't been her idea; Edward had suggested it. The thought didn't make her feel any better.

Edward frowned, recognizing her tone. It was the same one Alice used when she thought she'd upset Jasper and wanted to make it right. Jasper had a natural ability to wrap women around his finger without realizing why they were so nice to him. There was something about a slight drawl and a quick grin that Edward would never understand. He couldn't be bitter about his brother's charisma, and he couldn't blame Bella for falling for it, but there was a sinking feeling in his stomach as if he was watching an oncoming train wreck. He sighed.

"Bella," he said slowly, wearily, "Jasper's got a lot of shit going on right now... you know that, right?"

She turned sharply and studied his worn expression. His fingers clenched the steering wheel, fidgeting over the leather. She watched the muscles in his jaw work as he clenched his teeth and willed himself not to meet her eyes. Bella's stomach danced in anticipation of what he had to say.

"One might imagine," she said, just as cautiously.

"Jay, he, well-"

"Is this something he should be telling me himself?" she interrupted.

"It's something you ought to know."

She shook her head stubbornly. "If it's important, I'd rather he tell me him-"

"He's not-"

"-self," she finished, shooting him a glare.

"That's my point, Bella." Edward enunciated every word that followed so he wouldn't snap at her. "He's not going to tell you. _Ever_."

"But he can if it's that important," she said firmly.

He closed his eyes briefly, as if to steel himself. "Whatever you two have going on," he said, "I'm begging you, don't mess with him. Please."

"We're just friends," she squeaked, blushing when he cast a dubious look her way. There was something about his expression that reminded her of defeat. His eyes were positively mournful.

"My brother doesn't have any friends," he said too quietly for her to hear as the car pulled into her drive. Jasper might have people who cared, who would do anything for him no matter the outcome, but he didn't have friends.

...

The storm came that evening and dug in its talons. Bella watched the evening news, her hopes for a day at the beach sinking at the weatherman's cautiously optimistic tone. Mike had promised that the sun would be out; it looked like he would be eating those words now. She flicked on the table lamps around the living room to dispel some of the storm's gloom before turning on the radio and starting dinner. She whistled along with the Beach Boys as she worked. Rain might ruin her Saturday, but she sure as hell wouldn't let it inconvenience her Friday.

Charlie announced at dinner that he would be staying in tomorrow if the rain kept up. He suggested a father-daughter weekend, which Bella was more than happy to agree to. She hadn't had proper bonding time with her dad since the day she'd moved in and, even then, he'd been nervous. She thought it must be hard to have a stranger living in one's house and even stranger if she had once been your little girl.

He helped her with the dinner dishes, clumsily disrupting her routine. He put the cups were the mugs went and the bowls in the plate cabinet. He put the forks away upside down and little spoons with the stirring spoons and even found the peanut butter and put _that_ away in the refrigerator so it wouldn't spoil. Bella had no proof one way or the other that peanut butter would spoil at room temperature and had never had a jar last long enough to find out, so she said nothing. She thought it was sweet that her dad didn't want her feeling obligated to take care of the kitchen and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so she waited until he went to the laundry room to rearrange all the dishes he'd put away.

They watched "Cops" late into the evening. Charlie cleaned his pistol and gave her easy pointers on avoiding arrest at police checkpoints. Bella painted her toenails fluorescent green. He told her to park off the road if she was with a boyfriend and then told her it was too dangerous to park in a secluded area with _any _boy, especially a boyfriend. Bella had never been so glad to receive a phone call before.

It was only Angela reminding her that the beach trip was still on and telling her to bring a blanket. Bella retreated to her room and extended the conversation longer than necessary. When they hung up, she called her mom and left a message to start planning for her summer visit, which was coming up in a couple months.

Bella returned to the living room and finished polishing her nails as the next episode began. After she'd watched it long enough, she excused herself to the shower before her dad could give her tips on drug smuggling. Some things she just wasn't ready for.

Her hair was still wrapped in towel when she heard a rattle on her bedroom window through the rainstorm. She turned, grabbing her desktop paperweight and holding it behind her like a club, and slid the window open. There were no monsters waiting for her in the dark. In the yard below, a tall figure shifted from foot to foot. She couldn't quite make it out.

"Jasper?"

"Who else would be stupid enough to trespass here this late at night?" he demanded.

_Of course it was Jasper. _Bella almost laughed from relief. She dropped the paperweight. Downstairs, the phone rang and Charlie muted the television to answer.

"Can I come up?" Jasper called and, seeming to notice the TV through the window to his left, began to climb without waiting for a response. He moved painstakingly slow. Bella cleared the clutter from around the window, unsure whether to dump it in her closet or a desk drawer. Her brain scattered a thousand directions at once. She hoped he wouldn't fall, but a childish side of her was giddy there was a boy in her bedroom at all and, if she was honest, Bella was mostly hoping she wouldn't have to explain his nighttime presence to her father.

Balancing on the wet tree branch just above her window, Jasper looked like a half-drowned cat. He sounded winded. She waved him in anyway and stood back so he could half jump, half drag himself through her window.

His body flipped and he fell to her floor with a loud thud that left him lying on his back with his eyes shut tight against an invisible pain. He laid still, his chest rising and falling rapidly in short, shallow bursts as the rain ran off him in rivulets and pooled on her carpet. There were twigs stuck in his tangled hair. His sodden cast had turned muddy brown and begun to disintegrate. Blood oozed sluggishly out of his nose.

He opened his eyes and caught her staring. He grinned, his mouth red from the nosebleed, as said hoarsely, "Hey, Bella."

Dirt lined every visible groove on his skin and hid in the creases of his torn shirt, which, in any case, had ridden up to display a healthy amount of skin between his navel and where his hips disappeared into jeans that rode lower than usual because of the rain. Bella's insides fluttered from heart to groin. "Hey, Jasper," she whispered, realizing with sudden panic that friends didn't think of each other like she'd thought of him just then.

Bella left to find him a towel and to clear her head, but couldn't find a towel in the bathroom. Instead, she combed her hair and picked away the strays, brushed her teeth and took a moment to stare into the mirror. She couldn't tell if it was his presence or his bloody nose, but she felt dizzy and giddy and flushed. She'd never had a boy sneak into her room or seen one as alarmingly at ease with climbing through other peoples' windows late at night.

When she returned, she sat him on the foot of her bed and picked up her damp hair towel. Jasper's nose was still bleeding, but he didn't offer an explanation and Bella was afraid to ask. She knelt behind Jasper and began patting his hair dry. She tried to be gentle, but he winced almost immediately. She apologized in alarm and he assured her just as quickly that it was fine, but she didn't believe him and worked slower, lingering over the work. She didn't hear the footsteps coming up the stairs until it was almost too late.

Jasper heard it, too, and rolled off her bed. He dropped to the floor with a groan and hid as far under the bed as he could squeeze. Bella threw the towel after him, grabbed a book and cracked it open just in time. Charlie knocked on the door and pushed it open.

"Will you be okay home alone for the night?" He looked tired.

She nodded. "Did you get called in?"

Charlie stoked his mustache. "There was a break-in down on the Reservation. They usually deal with these things themselves, but they want me to take a look at it this time."

"Oh my gosh!" There was no mistaking what he meant when he said they dealt with break-ins. Bella thought of Jasper, who was hidden under her bed and looked like he'd been in a fight. She knew now that she should have let Edward speak, but the moment was gone and he was as likely to bring it up again as she was to admit she'd been wrong in the first place.

"And I need to be on the lookout for a runaway." Charlie sighed. "I hope he's still on the road."

Bella frowned. She knew her dad had been looking forward to a quiet night in. Now he wouldn't get it because she'd harbored a fugitive in his own house. She felt like a thief.

"I'll leave the coffee pot on for you," she offered.

He smiled. "Thanks, honey."

They waited until he'd shut the front door before moving. Bella offered him up, feeling very much like an accomplice, and he took up his spot again with a pained moan, her dirty towel bundled up in his lap. She wanted to blame him or argue or _something _but just couldn't; he sounded miserable enough as it was without her input.

"So, are you an escapee?" she asked, settling in behind him.

He handed her back the towel. "No comment."

Part of her still wanted to touch him, but the Bella thought the magic had gone out of it. She managed a few swiped at the dirt clinging to his neck before calling it quits. She tossed her towel over a chair and slid away from him. "What do you say I find you some drier clothes?"

…

Bella found him an old football jersey and a pair of her dad's pajama pants and left him in the bathroom to change. She padded downstairs and started the tea, turning on the tea kettle and fitting honey and tea bags onto a tray alongside some mugs. She ran back upstairs and plopped down on her bed to wait.

He took a long time, but Bella thought he looked much cleaner – and much prettier – this way. He looked at her apprehensively, waiting in the doorway, and she realized she was staring again. She smiled, trying to prove to herself that she wasn't embarrassed, and forced him to fill the awkward silence.

Jasper cleared his throat. "I left my stuff on the shower rail," he said, miming the action for her. He tapered off into silence again, leaving her to find something to say.

She offered him food, which he declined, and a drink, which he accepted after tripping over his tongue trying not ask her for it. She fetched the tea tray, shaking with silent laughter at his unpredictable behavior. He stood up quickly, as if he'd been caught red-handed while snooping through her drawers, when she entered the room. Bella rolled her eyes and he sat right back down while she poured.

She handed him a mug and took the initiative to sit beside him. They sat quietly for a minute that, to Bella, stretched for ten. When she thought of him, she thought of his tangled hair and lazy slouch and had to stop herself from giggling like an idiot. It made her palms itch until she couldn't stand it anymore. She turned and gently began rearranging his mussy hair.

He choked on his tea. He spat the scalding beverage back into his mug, still sputtering, and rested it on his lap. Bella thought he was shivering, but Edward hadn't told her anything enlightening on the subject. She shrugged and continued.

"I was thinking that we don't really know much about each other," she said after a minute. "So I thought we could play _20 Questions_." Jasper shrugged. "And I know you don't like certain topics, so there's an extra rule that we can skip those, okay?" she continued.

He nodded into his mug but said nothing. Bella scooted around behind him and continued untangling his hair. She had decided sometime since he had dropped through her window that she enjoyed touching Jasper, and she especially liked the accidental contact of her thighs against his back. He had a nice back. _Friends could think that, right?_

Jasper gulped and took a hasty sip of tea.

Bella chuckled and squeezed his shoulder. "Don't be nervous," she said, and then the game began.

Sometime between Jasper's absurd retelling of Arizona state history and Bella telling him about the tiger cub she'd "adopted" from the Phoenix Zoo when she was ten, the clock turned 3:00 AM. Jasper and Bella reclined against her headboard, their game forgotten as they tried not to fall asleep.

"What are you up to today?" Jasper asked casually, stifling a yawn.

Bella groaned, remembering the beach event that was still on for the morning despite lingering rain and overall malignant weather. Mike had invited her, but Jess had invited Mike and the entire event was originally Ben's idea of a quiet date with Angela until Lauren had overheard and invited herself. Angela and Ben had gone along with the plans once they were out of control; Angela was now excited to have Bella along and Ben, gentleman that he was, smiled politely and kept his mouth shut.

Bella abbreviated her explanation. "I'm going to have to do some heavy social politics," she finished.

Jasper chuckled. "Sounds like fun."

His sarcasm never got old. "Kill me," she requested, but he declined. She asked him to go with her, but he turned down the offer almost immediately. It was just inside the Reservation, and Bella thought foggily that it must have been part of the "trouble" her dad had mentioned after the first day she met Jasper while he was hitchhiking in the rain.

"Are you awake?" he asked.

Bella nodded but couldn't open her eyes. They seemed glued shut.

"No you're not. I'm going to take off."

His weight shifted as he edged off the bed. Bella reached out blindly and grabbed his bicep. She pulled him back and rested her head against him. "Don't leave. It's still raining."

Jasper finally rested his head on her pillow, and Bella snuggled up next to him. There wasn't much room on her twin bed for two people. It took him a minute to settle, and then he fell asleep before her, his breath evening out to a soft sigh.

When she woke, he had taken his clothes and left a note on top of her alarm clock that read "Stay Safe. I'm not Superman."

* * *

_A/N: I don't think you guys want to hear my excuses. It's been a year, and I'm sicking of making them to myself so I won't repeat them here. Except this one: M.I. takes more mental energy to write because it's so raw while T.I. takes longer because of description, alternate viewpoints and continuity between the two stories. I have to make it fit together, and I have to have time to do it well. So that's my excuse. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!_


	13. Chapter 13

Last time on "This Infatuation"...

_"Are you awake?" he asked._

_Bella nodded but couldn't open her eyes. They seemed glued shut._

_"No you're not. I'm going to take off."_

_His weight shifted as he edged off the bed. Bella reached out blindly and grabbed his bicep. She pulled him back and rested her head against him. "Don't leave. It's still raining."_

_When she woke, he had taken his clothes and left a note on top of her alarm clock that read "Stay Safe. I'm not Superman."_

* * *

Chapter 13

Half asleep in his bed, Edward thought he heard banging. He opened his eyes to the stormy morning and listened harder. He had to be sure. Sometimes he did hear phantom sounds, distant auditory hallucinations that echoed like déjà vu. Mostly it was when he was half asleep or tired or sick, but whenever he was alert and heard it he listened harder to be sure he wasn't losing his mind.

The sound persisted through the pelting rain and gusting wind until Edward was convinced it was real. He rubbed his eyes and wondered what time it was, but his digital clock had gone dark when the electricity failed during the night. The sky, a mass of angry clouds swirling beyond bending pines, was no help. Edward tossed back his blankets and crossed the distance to his dresser in near darkness. When he felt around for his wristwatch he came up empty.

He considered his flashlight then remembered that he'd given it to Alice before bed the night before. If the batteries hadn't died, then it was still on her bedside table casting a golden glow on the opposite wall. If the makeshift nightlight had gone out her room would be too dim. He couldn't take the flashlight and leave her in the dark, and it would be nearly impossible to navigate his way through her landmine of clothes piles in pitch black.

Edward flopped face first onto his bed and pulled a pillow over his head, waiting for the noise to stop. It did, eventually, and he thought he might fall back asleep, but his mind was too active. He had a calculus test Monday morning that he hadn't begun studying for yet. He'd intended to crack the books Thursday, then Friday, and now it was Saturday and he wondered whether he'd get a chance to sit down and think at all before the test. So far, it didn't look promising.

He would never get back to sleep now. Edward pulled himself up with an exaggerated groan and dug his running shoes from beneath the bed. When he'd learned that running cleared his head, Edward had taken up the hobby with gusto. Running became to him what coffee was to other people; he thought he might snap if he didn't get those thirty minutes in every morning.

It was still dark enough that when he headed out for his run Edward nearly tripped over his brother huddled beneath the overhang. Jay's soaked clothes clung to him and he was shook. Stomach sinking, Edward approached his brother and waved a hand in front of his eyes. Jay didn't seem to notice.

Edward backed into the house and scrambled up the stairs toward his parents' bedroom, leaving the front door open. "Car-_lisle_!"

The door opened before he could reach it. Carlisle emerged shirtless, wearing pajama pants and a bleary expression that cleared quickly as he rubbed his eyes a final time and shook the sleep away. He let Edward lead the way. "Esme's getting up, too. Is he bad?"

Edward descended the stairs quickly. "It's a bit like Anchorage."

Behind him, Carlisle _mhmm'd_. "Then let's hope we didn't wake Alice."

What the family referred to as "Anchorage" wasn't the three years spent living in a two-story house six miles from the hospital where Carlisle was finishing his residency. It was the event they'd all come to remember the city from - the horrible week that had been almost ruined everything.

"Anchorage" was a nightmare. Social Services had been waiting at the hospital for a day by the time Jay limped in on a sprained ankle, breathless and bruised and bloody after running across town. They found out later he'd fought with his girlfriend and climbed out her window, jumping off the fire escape as she threw glass cups at him - but that was after the kids were remanded into state custody and Esme and Carlisle investigated for child endangerment.

Even Edward was taken from the house; he didn't understand why he had to stay in the economy motel with a chaperone and needed an escort to and from school. He remembered Emmett, who only had seven months left in the system, pale at the threat of being sent away. It was the first time Edward had seen him refuse food; he just stared at the floor shaking his head and saying, "no fucking way I'm aging out like this."

The Social Services caseworker was polite but drank coffee continually, which filled her with nervous energy and made anyone she talked to feel anxious. She interviewed all the kids one-by-one, but all Alice could do was cry and ask for Jazz or Muffet when she tried talking to her; the woman didn't listen when he tried explaining that Jay was like her security blanket.

Edward had grown up that week. He still felt sorry for blaming everything on Jay, who had cracked as soon as he hobbled out of Rose's room and saw the social worker waiting for him. He spent the week under psychiatric observation in the hospital while doctors conducted tests and his caseworker fluttered about impotently. It was the guilt that did it. Jay saw actions in black and white; this time the consequences must have been a brilliant, blinding white.

Edward gave his dad the lead when they reached Jay. He didn't move, but his outbursts could be deceptive like that. Carlisle sank into a defensive crouch, one arm held up to guard his face as he made contact.

"Jasper, it's raining." Carlisle put his hands on Jasper's shoulders, a gentle touch the boy didn't seem to notice. "What do you say we go inside?"

Slowly, Jasper blinked. His eyes slid over Carlisle's features with only vague recognition. He opened his lips as if to speak but said nothing.

Carlisle nodded to Edward, who stepped backward and immediately held the door open as his dad pulled Jasper upright, speaking in soft tones. Jasper whimpered and began to struggle. It reminded Edward of taking in an injured stray, except this one was two inches taller than anyone else in the room. He ran to Carlisle's study, grabbed a throw blanket from the back of one of the chairs and threw it around his brother. It confounded Jasper's thrashing long enough for the two men to half-lead, half-carry him into the study and lay him down on the couch.

Jasper curled into a ball on the couch and stopped moving. He might've been dead, Edward thought, but for the trembling in his fingers. Jasper's fingers always shook. The day they stopped would be the day Edward stopped needing to run every morning.

"Thanks, kiddo." Carlisle smiled wearily. "I'll take it from here."

Edward nodded, grateful to get away and out of the house momentarily. As always, he walked slowly down the drive. Once out of sight of the house he tightened his laces and stretched, bringing his agitated mind into sync with his breathing. Today, it felt impossible. When his eyes closed he saw Jasper's vacant stare, the glassy look in his brother's eyes as he shivered in the rain.

Meditating would be hopeless, Edward thought and took off in a dead sprint. What he needed now was a nice, long run.

/T.I.\

They skies didn't clear, but by mid-morning Angela called with news that the thin sheet of gray hanging overhead was clear enough. The beach plans continued as if the storm never happened, and after a quick breakfast Bella found herself sitting next to Angela on the wooden bench in front of the camping store.

"Honestly, I didn't think today would work out," Angela said, bouncing in her seat as they waited for the rest of the group to assemble. She was talking with her hands. "Between the storm and all the extra people, I thought Ben would want to call off the whole thing."

Bella dodged a wide swung arm. "Because he'd really call off an entire day of one-on-one time with you at the beach," she teased. "He's totally got a thing for you."

Angela looked down but couldn't hide from Bella, who was an expert in the same blushing techniques. Bella prodded her in the ribs, and the other girl caved into giggles. "You really think he'll ask me out?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Please. You two match." She sighed and twisted her foot into the gravel beneath her feet. "You make macaroni and cheese look bad by comparison."

Her friend was perceptive. "It's not like you're on ice, Bella." She leaned in conspiratorially. "I've seen you hanging out with Edward Cullen. _And_ his brother."

Bella didn't know what to say to that. Her cheeks flushed.

"I still can't believe you're friends with any of the Cullen family," Angela said. "You don't know how many girls at school hate you."

"Like Lauren? Or Jess? Or that girl who stands behind us in the lunch line every day?" Bella said dryly.

"It's like Jessica said, they stick together. It's been a couple years, but no one's infiltrated until now." Angela shrugged and sat back. "Stupid, I know, but they're celebrities."

Bella frowned. She bent, scooped a handful of wet rocks and spread them out in her cupped hands. They were unremarkable but she played with them anyway. "Want to know the weird part?" she said after a minute.

Angela scoffed as if to indicate that it was _all _weird but played along. "They're secretly vampires." she deadpanned.

Bella had to laugh. "That's more believable. I was going to say they're actually normal."

"Of course they're normal. Most people are once you get to know them."

Eric's eight passenger van pulled into the half empty lot and parked in front of the girls. Lauren waved from the front seat. Eric hopped out, gave Angela and Bella a sweeping bow and slid the side door of the van open for them. Most of the back was crowded with bits of furnishing and knick knacks, and the rear seat was half-filled with snacks.

"Tight fit," Eric observed laconically as Angela and Bella squeezed into the front bench.

Indeed, thought Bella as she tossed a Frisbee into the seat behind her. It would be a tight fit.

It only took ten minutes for the rest of the group to assemble. They traded embarrassing stories and dating qualifications in the meantime, crafting a list of questions as equally unobtrusive as they were relevant. Bella thought a bookish musician was an important qualifier while Angela preferred tall non-smokers. Then Eric, watching them from the review mirror, chimed in with "must be funny."

He shrugged when they looked up at him. "Hey, if a girl can't find fun in bad situations she probably won't find it anywhere."

Bella was about to agree when Mike, Lauren and Jessica appeared at the side door with Ben not far behind. Lauren, loath to sit near Bella, immediately took the backseat.

Mike proved gentlemanly enough to offer Jessica the front seat, a move that strategically left him in cramped quarters on the bench next to Bella. He tossed an arm across the bench and made himself comfortable. Bella scooted over, leaving him so much space that she gave Angela an apologetic smile.

Ben climbed in last and squeezed in the final seat next to Lauren. Angela turned and shot him a wistful smile that Bella didn't miss. She hoped her friend got some alone time with Ben like they'd planned on.

"You guys had better get earlier seats on the ride home," she said as Mike swung the side door closed.

The Olympic peninsula was beautiful in its own way, Bella mused as Eric's van careened around a slow-moving tourist car. Sure, the dense green forests still induced within her an old childhood claustrophobia she'd forgotten in the long, baking summers of Arizona. And she wasn't sure whether she like the tree that seemed to stretch its branches up to her window, an invitation for stalkers if there ever had been.

Except she hadn't exactly minded when Jasper Hale showed up with the rain the night before. She remembered the moment when she opened her window and looked down to see him waiting. He had looked wretched and half drowned, his tousled golden curls soaked and blocking half his face. His ever-confusing eyes gleamed with a light that both unsettled and thrilled Bella. If it was him standing at her window she wouldn't object.

Wind whipped over the smooth pebble beach when Bella, ignoring Mike's offered hand, climbed out of the van. Salty air tingled her nose and dragged her hair away from her face. Bella walked toward the shore and closed her eyes. She felt invigorated and imagined that Ariel must have felt the same when she visited the wind-tossed ocean surface.

The guys pulled on their swimsuits first while the girls stood in a huddle. Bella, who had never swam in the cold Pacific waters, thought they looked more like the insulated wetsuits arctic divers used than anything else. Now that she saw the ocean firsthand, she wasn't sure even rubber suits could save her friends if they ran across big enough waves – or sharks who saw them more as gangly seals than human.

Bella pulled her jacket tighter around herself and braced as another wind gusted off the water. She was glad she did not own a bodysuit. Even if the waves calmed, she was willing to bet the water was freezing.

"You should at least try surfing before you knock it," Lauren said to Bella.

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, what's the point of a beach without surfing?"

Bella could think of plenty of things. Long walks, for example. Driftwood fires, seashell collecting and sunset gazing rounded out her top four picks. "God bless you people for getting into frigid water to stand on little boards and hope the waves don't crush you against rocks," she said. "I'm fine just enjoying the view."

Jessica looked past her and frowned. "I thought no one came to this beach."

Bella rolled her eyes at Jessica's distress but squinted at the approaching group anyway. All four walked tall in easy self assurance, but even so Bella recognized Jacob immediately. She waved.

"Bella!" Jessica's wide eyes looked at her in disbelief.

"Jess, we're on the Reservation. Who do you think it's going to be?"

"Oh." Jessica thought for a moment. "Do you think they'll mind?"

"That depends," Bella said. She grinned at Jacob, who was now within earshot. "Are pale-faces allowed to swim these waters?"

Jacob and his friends laughed. Bella noticed two of them were shorter than Jacob. The third and tallest of the group had a shiner on one eye. He stood slightly apart from the group, his expression less amused than his friends. But when the other boys elbowed Jacob in encouragement he joined in.

"It's generally understood that pale-faces sink like stones," Jacob said with a cocky grin, "but since we are here, any misfortunes will be prevented by our incredible swimming."

Bella laughed along with the group. Jessica didn't understand the joke. She glanced at Bella. "So…"

Bella took her by the shoulder. "I'll help you suit up," she said, still chuckling.

/T.I.\

Joyous shrieks came from the water's edge behind her. Bella didn't need to turn to know it was Jessica and Eric, the two more intrepid surfers of the group. The others had already retired to a small fire Ben and Angela had built from driftwood near the van. Embry – the grumpy one, Quil and Seth sat around the story swapping stories with her friends.

Beside her, Jacob pointed past the beach to where the pebbly sand grew coarser and turned into boulders. Past that, almost fading into the gray sky, a cliff hung over the water. Seagulls wheeled along the cliff face, disappearing into the stone.

Bella imagined how the waves must crash against the rocks. _What color would the waves be?_ she thought, turning thoughtfully to the sea to her left.

"We can hike there sometime, right?" she asked.

Jacob nodded. "Me and the guys go there all the time. There's even a ledge for diving." He saw her shocked expression and added, "You don't have to cliff jump if you don't want to."

Bella wiped her brow in mock relief. "For a second I thought jumping off cliffs was a rite of initiation or something." She laughed. "It's like a special bro code to keep out the girls, isn't it?"

Jacob chuckled. He bent, picked up a rock and threw it into the water. As Bella watched, a wave seemed to reach up and snatch the stone, dragging it below. The ocean here was rough. She hoped she never found out _how _rough firsthand.

They walked back toward the fire leisurely while Jacob explained the tribe's mythology to her. Bella was sure he'd told her before when they were just kids, but she liked the stories anyway.

"Think fast!" a voice called over the crashing waves.

Jacob and Bella looked up. Eric's yellow Frisbee zipped through the air on a beeline straight at them. Bella flinched, slipped and fell on the wet rocks as Jacob reached out and caught the disc single-handedly. He dropped it immediately and knelt.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'd say it's just my pride, but…" Bella held out her palms with a grimace. She'd skinned both during her fall. It wasn't bad, but she could see blood beading up through the dirt. The sight made her feel queasy.

Her mind slipped back to the morning. She'd woken up to a dried mud puddle on her carpet and a neatly folded stack of clothes on her bed. And that note. _Stay safe_, it had said.

Bella started to laugh. When Jacob looked at her nervously, she began laughing harder. He helped her to her feet and threw the Frisbee back toward the group with surprising ferocity. The disc arced through the air, skimmed the fire and landed at Quil's feet. Quil almost dropped his s'more in surprise.

"I'm fine, Jake," she said, still chuckling as she took a seat near the fire. Jacob pulled a water bottle from the cooler and poured it over her hands. "It's just something a friend told me when he heard I was going on a surfing trip."

"Which Cullen boy was that, Bella, Edward or Jasper? It's hard to keep track." Lauren asked. She hadn't quite gotten out of her wetsuit, opting instead to unzip it to the waist. Bella couldn't help but think it was to expose her bikini top. Bikinis didn't get much show time in the Pacific Northwest.

Bella studied her hands without answering, but she saw Jacob glance up at her with a curious expression. She looked around and saw hard stares from Quil and Seth. Embry looked livid.

"Bella invited them to come," Lauren continued, oblivious to the hostility coming from the other half of the group.

"It's really not a big deal," Bella said. She laughed nervously and tried to play the tension off lightly. "He said no. The rejection was crushing. _Oh no!_" She waved her hands in the air in mock panic. Eric chuckled.

"The Cullens don't _come _here," Embry said, his expression set in a hard line. Bella guessed his problem might have something to do with the black eye gracing his face. It also might have to do with Jasper's bloody nose, she thought. It was a sobering idea.

"Good to know," Angela chimed in. She shot Bella an unmistakable _let's talk about this later _glance before smiling broadly. "Who wants another marshmallow?"

/T.I.\

Edward walked downstairs Sunday morning to find Jasper and Alice asleep together on the couch. Alice was small enough to fit into Jasper's arms without falling over the ledge, but he'd wrapped his arms around her waist anyway. Edward surveyed the scene from their tangled legs to Jasper's bed shirt, which Alice now wore, and turned on his heel for the kitchen. He needed coffee.

It wasn't so much that he thought something had happened between them. Although, he _had _just found out they'd been keeping secrets, Edward thought. He poured himself a mug of coffee but didn't drink it immediately. He didn't think anything had happened overnight, but… he wouldn't trust Jasper to know better. His brother's working knowledge of boundaries was worse than a kindergartener's.

Edward returned to the living room and plucked the remote control off the floor beneath one of Jasper's hands. He retreated to the recliner, lowered the volume and turned the channel to the morning news. Twenty minutes later, Jasper shifted in place. Fifteen minutes after that, he stretched stiffly and raised his head. Edward raised an eyebrow and Jasper dropped back onto the couch pillow with the miserable moan of someone awoken prematurely.

But Edward knew better. "I'm not going to say anything," he said.

"Nothin' to say," Jasper murmured, his face still hidden in Alice's hair.

Edward watched the television announcer promise him zero interest on a new car. He doubted their parents would have _nothing _to say on the subject. Rose and Emmett were one thing - they didn't live here anymore and weren't officially together as far as anyone could tell – but Edward knew Esme would balk if she knew these two were so close. "_Sure_."

Jasper grunted. "Just keep the volume down."

"Okay." Edward agreed easily enough but thought Jasper might still be suspicious. "If Alice forgave you I don't have a problem with it."

"She had a bad dream," Jasper said. His tone was defensive.

Edward tried to laugh into his coffee cup but failed to cover his laughter. He waited for a berate that didn't come. _Unusual. _His brother always had a quick retort, but today he stayed silent.

Edward sipped his coffee in peace. Whatever happened in the past 24 hours, he thought he would be able to get used to the silence.

* * *

_E/N: Do I have any readers here that also read the companion piece, "My Intoxication"? Regardless, here's a big question that has been on my mind... After reading this story, do you like Edward more or less than before?_

_Give me a shout out to let me know your opinion! I can't wait to update this story again!_


	14. Chapter 14

_This week's welcomes go to hellopandaykailan, loveofwrittenword! Shout-outs to slc6548 and for their rockin' reviews last chapter! I'm loving the feedback, so keep it coming!_

_... And, if you're keeping track, this coincides with Chapter 25 of the companion piece, "My Intoxication." =)_

* * *

14.

Jasper was already sitting on the sidewalk when Bella parked her truck in the school lot Monday morning. He sucked on a cigarette, his expression anxious but his eyes vacant. It worried Bella. She grabbed her bag and headed over, ignoring the dirty looks from her friends.

Jasper looked up, a smile brightening his face as she approached. He patted the sidewalk beside him. "How was your trip to the beach?"

She flopped to the ground. "Cold, wet and I skinned my palms."

Jasper snorted back a laugh and held out his hands. "Lemme see."

He spoke assuredly, but Bella doubted he had any real medical knowledge. Still, she played along. He took her hands gently and flipped them over to look at her palms. He ran a thumb over the scratches. The touch made her heart race. She glanced at his face just in time to see him frown at her hands. For a split second she thought he'd seen something wrong.

"It doesn't look _too _bad," he said, "but you're probably gangrenous." He shrugged but failed to keep his solemn composure. A grin spread across his face. "By the end of the week… who knows?"

He was bullshitting her, Bella realized. She burst into laughter and swatted his arm with one hand. Jasper, obviously pleased the joke, raised an arm to defend himself – an arm no longer encumbered by a cast.

"You got your cast off!" Bella exclaimed.

Jasper looked at his arm as if surprised by it himself. He nodded. "On Saturday."

"Can I see it?"

Jasper's eyes narrowed, but the rest of his face was blank. It was like he had turned to stone. "_No._"

Bella paused. His anger didn't surprise her, but it still took her aback. She'd never met anyone as sensitive about his injuries as Jasper Hale. She waited silently until he ground his cigarette butt on the asphalt.

He sighed heavily. "I'm a little stressed." He took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to snap."

Bella thought he _did _mean to snap. It was an effective way to get people to leave you alone, after all. She nodded as if understanding. She had to play it cool or risk alienating him. "Under the same rules we agreed on the other day, what's stressing you?"

Jasper sighed again. When he spoke, he did so with the reluctance of a man publicly admitting to infidelity. "Finals."

Bella raised an eyebrow.

One side of Jasper's mouth twisted upward as if he understood her doubt. He explained. To Bella, who believed the rumors in the silent months since she'd met Jasper, it was a revelation. She had never considered that he put effort into his work or tried to stay up-to-date with homework. Rumors insinuated he floated through the building without consequence. Now that she thought about it, there was no logistical way the rumor mill could be substantiated. His anxiety began to make sense to her.

Bella thought of their upcoming test. If what he'd said was true then there was no doubt he would need help studying for it. Bella, with her detailed notes and preparedness mentality, would be the perfect study buddy. Plus, he had a charming way of making her smile that put a bright edge to even their stormiest moments.

"If it's biology or English, I can help you study," she offered. "Especially if it's for the test on Friday."

"It'll take a lot of effort," he said darkly, but Bella could tell he was thinking about it.

She put a hand on his arm. "Come to my house after school so we can study." She watched him weigh the invitation indecisively before adding, "I'm making chicken alfredo," as a bonus.

Jasper smiled. He ran a hand through his mop of tangled curls, grinning in that distractingly dazed way, that way that made Bella think of how his arms might feel holding her tight. A thrill raced down her spine when he accepted her invitation. She grinned and couldn't stop.

"Awesome!" She got to her feet and brushed the seat of her pants, trying to refocus her attention. She needed to focus on classes. Latin prep, math homework, English papers… not her lab partner. "I – I'll see you in biology," she said and hurried away before he had time to see the blush blossom on her cheeks.

Alice swung around in her chair when Bella sat. She spoke before Bella had a chance to open her book. "So when did you and Jasper decide to be friends?"

The question took Bella aback. She hesitated long enough for Edward to glare at his sister, a warning. Alice stared back at him defiantly. "What? The whole school wants to know," Alice said. "I happen to think of everyone _we _have a _right_ to know."

Edward rolled his eyes and turned around, leaving Bella trapped under Alice's intense gaze. Bella squirmed, suddenly nervous to be talking about Jasper behind his back. Their friendship felt like a newly signed treatise. She bet gossip was one of Jasper's conditions for surrender.

"Well, for me it was kinda when I learned to tell the difference between irritation and sarcasm," Bella said.

Alice chuckled a little, but Bella's eyes were on Edward, who had turned toward her again. "With Jasper, it's always a fine line between the two," he said. He grinned. "And amusement. Watch yourself on that one, Swan. It's a doozy."

Bella took some time to think about Edward's joke before she saw him next. She'd seen Jasper looking anxious, irritated, sleepy and shy, but Bella had a hard time recalling seeing him openly happy. The only thing that came to mind was Jasper grinning up at her from her bedroom floor, soaking and gorgeous and covered in blood.

She had to stop thinking about Jasper like that, Bella thought. When she thought of him it only made her head woozy and distracted. She had a test on Friday, a Latin translation due and a paper to submit within the next week. And her biology project!

Edward didn't look up when Bella took her seat across the aisle. She leaned across to see what kept him occupied and was surprised to see him scribbling math equations. Edward _never _waited until the last minute to do his homework. She looked away to keep from interrupting, but he'd already straightened and smiled.

"I know, what's a mathematician like me doing in an English class like this?" he said with a trace of amusement.

_Was he referencing Scorsese?_ If so, how very… classic of him. "You look out of place," she said without missing a beat. "Want a penny?"

Edward's smile almost turned into a laugh. He shook his head softly. "No thanks. But you do."

Bella's eyes darted around the room. She knew she was being paranoid but didn't want any of this to make it back to Mike or Jessica. "Mike asked me to the dance on Saturday."

His eyebrows shot up. "And?"

Bella scoffed. As if he even had to ask. "I told him I'm going to this science thing in Seattle-"

"The Bodies exhibit?" He leaned forward, genuinely intrigued now. He loved the exhibit if for nothing more than the meticulous preservation and dissection of each corpse.

Bella nodded. "But I don't really know my way around the city." She threw up her hands.

Edward smiled. The circumstances were too good to be true. "I'm going in to visit a college adviser … if you want a ride." He filled her in on the details.

Bella was thrilled. Then she thought of Jasper and what he'd said earlier about needing to pass the class. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she wouldn't mind spending an afternoon with him – even if it was just looking at cadavers.

"Do you think he'd want to go?" Bella asked.

"Who, Jasper?" Edward looked surprised and maybe a little disappointed.

"He _is _my lab partner," she reminded him.

Edward thought about it. Realistically, he didn't see Jasper volunteering his time for anyone, let alone a girl he actively avoided a week before. Plus, with Carlisle's hush-hush attitude he was sure his brother was on some kind of parental probation – not that Jasper ever minded curfews or punishments before. He'd been through a lot in the past week, and Edward wasn't sure he would be mentally up for it; stuff like this always wore down Jasper's nerves.

But Edward couldn't speak for his brother. He shrugged, trying to stay neutral. "You can try."

Bella thought she would ask Jasper, but he was called out of class to get x-rays and she didn't get the chance until he showed up at her house after school. She leaned out the door just as he turned away from a departing sedan.

"C'mon in," she called.

Jasper looked at her then back at the car disappearing down the road. Bella thought he might take off running after the vehicle but he jogged up the front steps instead. A brilliant smile crossed his face as he crossed the threshold. True to Edward's word, it made Bella's brain stumble. She almost tripped shutting the door.

Bella returned to the stove, turned on the front burner and tried to let him get situated. He took the seat adjacent to her notebooks and flipped absently through his biology textbook. His fingers tapped rapidly on the table.

"What do you need help with?" she asked. She was excited to spend time with him, but he still needed to study. She couldn't be a distraction.

After a minute more of aimless page-flipping Jasper looked up with a groan. "Um, everything?"

"Okay," Bella said without breaking stride, "We'll start with the scientific theory. Now get over here and help me cook!"

Jasper proved himself handier with a kitchen knife than a biology textbook. He chopped and diced with detached efficiency, hardly looking at the vegetables beneath the sharp blade as Bella quizzed him on the semester's notes. But for every question she asked he came up with a smart aleck answer or sarcastic remark, and Bella found herself explaining more than cooking.

Once she showed Jasper how to sauté mushrooms and stir in the cream, he seemed content at the stove. Bella stepped back and allowed herself a moment to appreciate the view while she halved a loaf of Italian bread.

Jasper had missed the skinny jeans craze. He wore a loose pair of low-riding jeans and a monochromatic plaid button-up, which he'd left unbuttoned over a green t-shirt. She watched as he leaned against the counter, the muscles in his shoulders ripple beneath the shirt as he stirred the sauce in lazy motions.

"I thought you were making chicken," he called.

Bella blinked. She pushed away the dreamy fog confounding her and thought fast. "What's the last stage of mitosis?"

He paused to think. "Telophase?"

"Hey, you got it!" Bella felt like cheering. It was the first thing he'd recalled all evening. Maybe the situation wasn't hopeless.

Jasper shrugged. "I knew it all along," he said.

The phone rang before Bella could retort, but she swatted him in the arm as she went to answer it. His laughter followed her, making her feel warm all over as she jogged into the living room. She picked up the cordless phone, took one look at the receiver and answered.

"Hey dad!"

"Hey kiddo," Charlie said. "Just checking in. Everything okay?"

"Yep." Bella looked into the kitchen where Jasper seemed to have momentarily forgotten how to stir. "Is it okay if I have a friend stay for supper?"

He agreed. "Need anything at the store before I'm home?"

Bella shook her head then realized he couldn't see her through the phone. "We're fine on this end."

They disconnected. Bella felt like waltzing into the kitchen. "It's official," she exclaimed as she returned. "You're staying for dinner!"

Jasper looked up like a startled fawn before she could finish. "Oh, Bella, I should go."

_Was he leaving just because of her dad? _Bella scowled at him. If he could spend the night in her bedroom then he could damned sure meet her dad. "Just sit down!" she barked.

To her surprise, he did. Jasper dropped into a chair and folded his legs beneath him. He stared at her petulantly, a challenge she refused to lose. But Jasper didn't blink, only sat there scratching his arms absently until her gaze wavered.

Bella wanted to walk to him, to touch him as she had Friday, but thought he would melt away like a shadow or a skittish cat. Still, his stare pierced Bella. She felt exposed. He must be able to read the emotions she tried to keep off her face, but he said nothing.

She had to distract him. "I downloaded Janis Joplin's greatest hits the other day."

One side of his lips curved into an unmistakable grin that made Bella's heart flutter. Jasper didn't seem to notice. He asked her what she thought about the singer, and Bella's response seemed to make him chuckle. She wanted to know the inside joke.

"Have you heard _Mercedes Benz_ yet?" he asked, still humored.

The front door creaked open as Bella grinned. She laughed, thinking about how Charlie had complained all day Sunday about her sudden taste in bad music. He wondered where it came from and had begged her to go back to listening to the loud, screeching music Phil sent from Florida. She told this to Jasper.

Her dad walked in, kicked off his shoes and stopped in the entrance to the kitchen where he stopped, trying to guess who her mystery "friend" was sitting at the table, when she addressed him directly. Jasper whirled in his seat, his eyes wide as if he'd been caught robbing the house instead of eating dinner. Bella cringed when Charlie's eyes narrowed. The look lasted just for an instant before he smiled and accepted Jasper's outstretched hand, but Bella thought Jasper had a knack for reading faces; no doubt he had seen it.

"I thought I was going to have to kick you out of the house for singing that song," her dad said after what seemed like a long silence.

Bella nearly sighed in relief, but she feigned outrage on Jasper's behalf. "Dad! Go get ready for dinner!"

Charlie excused himself to wash up. Jasper tried once again to excuse himself from the house – Bella denied the request – before giving up and removing their study notes from the table so they could eat. He sat back in his chair with a scowl, but Bella saw through the expression. If her half-formulated theory on Jasper Hale's emotions were correct then he was either tolerating her house or was enjoying himself.

She hoped desperately it was the latter although Jasper stayed quieter than a church mouse during dinner while Charlie asked her about grades and schoolwork. A blush rose in Bella's cheeks. She hated talking about grades in front of friends and, now that Jasper admitted he wasn't doing well in his classes, she felt uncomfortable mentioning in front of him that she got straight A's.

The three of them ate in almost uninterrupted silence for the rest of the meal. Bella looked between the two men. Jasper stared at his plate as if concentrating on spearing the last mushroom with his fork. Charlie's eyes roamed anywhere but their dinner guest. It was like spinning oil and water in a jar and watching them avoid each other. She wanted to sigh.

Charlie offered to help with dishes after dinner, but Bella shooed him away easily. When she turned around Jasper had already pushed up his shirt sleeves and begun washing dishes. She thought of protesting but already knew he would just give her a smart aleck comment. Bella began putting the leftovers away.

"How is our biology project going?" Jasper asked after a minute's silence.

Bella paused and regarded him. He was almost elbow deep in sudsy water, but it was enough for Bella to admire the outline of muscles beneath his pale skin. He wasn't quite carved from marble, Bella thought, but if someone suggested hewn from stone she wouldn't object. She shook her head clear. Now wasn't the time.

"There's an exhibit in Seattle-"

"Next Saturday. The day of the dance," he finished, an unreadable look in his eyes.

Bella wished she could read expressions half as well as he could. "Yeah! How'd you know?"

"I pay attention," Jasper said as easily as if it was true. Bella had no doubt he paid attention if he could know about _that._

"I only told two people," she said.

"In that case I am an exceptional eavesdropper." He chuckled. "No, I just wanted to see if you wanted a ride."

Bella stared at him, unsure what to say. She hadn't expected him to go out of his way to help - or even be interested in the project.

"What?" he asked after a moment.

Bella realized she'd been staring. "That's unexpected," she said, feeling stupid.

He brushed off her compliment. "My brother and I are going into the city anyway."

Except Bella knew they weren't. At least, Jasper wasn't. Edward was meeting an adviser about the university's pre-med program and hadn't mentioned his Jasper's attendance when he offered her a ride earlier that day.

Besides, Jasper wasn't the kind of guy to wake up early on a Saturday for a drive into the city with a brother he didn't like. He was more into barb-tongued retorts than brotherly bonding. Sitting in a lobby while his brother filled out college forms was not Jasper's ideal morning.

All of which gave Bella the sense that Jasper had an odd definition of little white lies. Which meant he was lying to do something nice for her and she had better play along. Her eyes widened in feigned surprise. He turned back to the dishes, smiling to himself. Bella, unable to contain herself, broke into laughter.

He finished washing the dishes, dried his hands and rolled down his shirtsleeves with meticulous ease. She caught her breath in time to keep him from scouring the countertops. "Edward wouldn't mind?" she asked.

Jasper shook his head. "I'll check to make sure, but I doubt it."

Bella nodded. She had to agree with that.

* * *

_E/N: I'm excited to have updated this story twice in the same year! Consider me on a roll!_

_As always, I'm dying to know your thoughts on the story. Leave a quick review to let me know!_


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